Dating Magazine

You're Not Drifting Apart If There Is Only One Drifter

By Kelly Speechless @KellySpeechless


Sarah Asked: 
“I am worried about my boyfriend. We have been together for almost 8 years and have 2 children together. We have always been each others best friend and lover. My concern is that in the past year his behavior ” in the bedroom, or lack there of” has slowly manifested into paranoia on end. I know with having 2 children the time for each other is hard to come by, but we always found time in the past with equal motivation. Lately he seems uninterested. I know we have busy schedules but that has never stopped us. A month or so will go by like this and then abruptly ( note this is not unwanted ) he will be overwhelmingly sweet, attentive and interested. He will be like this for a few days to a week. All seems better than back to the back burner for me. He has never acted like this and I am worried we are drifting slowly apart. I have even had the thought that he is cheating. I wonder sometimes if I am over analyzing this. I just need to know if there is something I can do to bring us back to where we were. Just want to put the fire back in our relationship.”
- Sarah (33, USA)
Ask Jessica Kelly-
Dear Sarah,
  How to solve your problem Phase 1:  OK, first of all I am very glad that you are paying attention to your gut instincts. A lot of people ignore these types of signs, which is very unhealthy.The Good News's: He could be in need of something as little as a check up or some blood work at the family doc. The Bad and News's and no doubt one of your worries or concerns:
  He Could Very Well Be Cheating.
First of all, we need to get out of the way that there is a possibility your boyfriend is cheating on you. Showing a lack of interest in your sex life is a symptom that he could be getting his needs met elsewhere. Also, the later out pour of affection towards you could be a way to relieve his mounting guilt. To relieve your suspicions of him cheating you need to start looking through his phone records, computer, and bank statements. There are also many affordable ways to use technology in order to catch a cheating partner. Always looks at reputable sites, and always do your research before purchasing anything, or using someones services. I know you might think this sounds crazy, but I can promise you that in six months from now if you’re still feeling this way; you will know what, “crazy,” really is. Even if he isn’t cheating, the fact that he doesn’t care about his lack of sexual advances toward you; and how that makes you feel isn’t right.
  This Might Be a Physical Issue.
Example: *When it comes to humans and sexual issues, a large percentage of these issues are due to physical issues that are with doctor care very minor to treat. I once had a male client who was worrying about his lack of sex drive and feelings towards his wife in the intimate level he felt normal to him. I told him to get a check up and a blood test showed that his sugar lever enzymes (more detailed but in non-doctor language) were unbalanced. He said that he took three weeks of low dosed, no side effect bearing prescribed medication to fix the imbalance-which was a situation he could live a full life without treating by the way-and he got his sexy back. The doctor revealed later that his minor infraction does have a direct link to sexual issues but generally aren't reported.
  Time for family check ups!
Men think they are big losers for going to the doctor unless there is something really wrong. So to entice or force him to get a check up say you read something about how families need to make it a mandatory decision to all get check ups at the same time. He still says no. Cry, Bring it up every day. Repeat. What if you or the kids just got a check up? They didn't do blood work when you went-just say it. Men can easily have physical problems pertaining to sexual dysfunction as woman. No matter what age your boyfriend is he could have an imbalance or lower level of testosterone in his body. A lack of testosterone in males can cause mood swings, erratic behavior and depression. A simple blood test can rule this out immediately. I would suggest to him that the whole family needs to get a checkup. Make an appointment and ask him to test his testosterone levels. If he thinks that is an odd request, just say you read something about how it could save your life and rule out many types of disease; which is true anyway. You’re Right! He Is Wrong! He knows that your right! He knows that he is wrong! Awareness isn't blind except in dire circumstances and in that case there would be a huge underlying issue: overly exaggerated for a reason example-"schizophrenia. "

Snooping Is The Same As Running-While Being Chased!! 
Snooping is only wrong when: you are in bushes more than once a week, your snooping involves a stranger for no reason. That's it. Besides that snooping is way more useful than spoons, knifes and forks ever were.


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