Business Magazine

You’ll Probably Forget This Headline Because I Didn’t Take the Time to Make It as Short as It Could Have Been.

Posted on the 25 April 2011 by Happygrc
One of the biggest “I’M JUST A STUDENT” banners you can wave is having headlines that are way too long. If you’re a copywriter, you need to learn to edit without losing meaning or interest. If you’re an art director, you need to do the same. The words may not technically be your responsibility, but it’s still your ad. And a too-long headline can bring it down.
Let’s say you’re doing ads for a paint store that delivers the paint right to your home once you've selected a color on-line. You could start with a headline like this:
You can paint a whole lot more when you don’t have the paint department getting in your way.
Okay. I get it. Kind of interesting. But can you trim it?
You can paint a lot more when the paint department’s not in your way.
Much shorter. But are the words “a lot” really necessary?
You can paint more when the paint department’s not in your way.
Do you have to use the words “You can” at the beginning?
Paint more when the paint department’s not in your way.
Let’s get our Hemmingway on.
Paint more without the paint department in your way.
Paint more without the paint department.
And how about this?
Paint without a paint department.
I'm not saying that's the absolute best one. But it's a little more interesting than the original. And certainly more succinct. You could argue that there’s more character, and more of a voice in some of the longer lines. Maybe. Sometimes longer lines will give you the voice you need. But I think there's plenty of character in the shortest line.
More often than not, headlines should be short. And writers and art directors need to be able to take long thoughts and edit them down to something someone might read and remember, even if they weren’t paying attention to begin with.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Pull Apart Cinnamon Roll Bread

    Pull Apart Cinnamon Roll Bread

    Who doesn't love cinnamon rolls? Not many people I would assert. I saw this recipe for a Pull Apart Cinnamon Roll Bread on Pinch of Yum a while back and had... Read more

    10 hours, 44 minutes ago by   Mariealicerayner
    FOOD & DRINK, RECIPES
  • $500 Weekend Blowout

    Well a month ago our $1,000 post was very successful, a number of sales took place and it brought about members engaging with one another to get some deals... Read more

    12 hours, 24 minutes ago by   Worldwide
    BUSINESS, TECH
  • Proliferation of Hate and Intolerance

    Proliferation Hate Intolerance

    Paul Brass provides a wealth of ethnographic and historical evidence on the causes of Hindu-Muslim violence in India in The Production of Hindu-Muslim Violence... Read more

    13 hours, 47 minutes ago by   Dlittle30
    SOCIETY
  • Unpacked Book Trailer

    Unpacked Book Trailer

    Introducing…The Unpacked Book Trailer!!Back in December, my friend and filmmaker Andrew MacCormack and I got to together for a chat at my cottage in Stanley... Read more

    13 hours, 54 minutes ago by   Moduffycobb
    DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Currently....

    Currently....

    Happy Friday folks bitches! Time and Place: 4:24 p.m. At my computer in my home office looking at my dog and counting down 36 minutes until happy hour. Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Brisdon
    ATHLETICS, FITNESS
  • ETSY MIX of the Week

    ETSY Week

    1 | Hoop earrings are making a comeback. These solid ones with the v shaped cutout are very pretty (umya, $56.89) 2 | A gorgeous birch wood plate to serve and... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Myparadissi
    HOME, INTERIOR DESIGN
  • Berghaus Dragon’s Back Race 2017 – Day Five – The Finish Line

    Berghaus Dragon’s Back Race 2017 Five Finish Line

    MARCUS SCOTNEY AND CAROL MORGAN WIN THE BERGHAUS DRAGON'S BACK RACE 2017 Marcus Scotney put aside injury concerns to lead from the front on the final day and wi... Read more

    The 26 May 2017 by   Abichal
    OTHER SPORTS, OUTDOORS