I would like to think that i have always been a good judge of character, bar the odd exception here and there where i let the odd tosser into my life. We cant always be on the top of our game you know. But looking back on my life, at the people i have gotten close to and called friends, or guys that i have crushed on im left with a sickening feeling that i am really shit at judging who is good and bad.Lets start with my first crush, i absolutely adored this guy. infact adored is too tame a word when describing how much i loved him, infatuated and obsessed would be more appropriate. What can i say though, i was young and stupid. For 6 years i fantasised that he could be my boyfriend and that we would be great together, i was only 10 at the time. Looking back on those memories i cant help but cringe, its not like i fancied him and no one knew about it.........everyone knew about it, the whole world and its mate knew. It was aweful. And my family arent the type of people to let it go un-noticed. They would say little comments and drop hints when we were out having dinner, they would make us pose for photographs together and what was worse is that he would play a long with it, hed kiss my cheek for the camera, give me bear hugs for no reason and shoot me that killer smile that would make my face go redder than you can imagine and id stutter and be rendered speechless. Nightmare. He was a proper ladies man, so 10-16 year old innocent me was in no way prepared to handle his charm, once when we were on holiday, i was putting some lip balm on my lips when he asked if he could have some, so i passed it to him. but instead of taking it from me and using it like any other ordinary person he moved next to me and said "no, i want some like this" and then he kissed me. i died, i died over and over and over again, infact i am now dying over and over again now for even remembering it so clearly. but to top it off, usher was playing on the music system in the background, one of his slow songs, so he stood up grabbed my hand and led me into the middle of the room where we then began to slow dance. Aweful. My guess is your already thinking awwww such a sweet lad for going along with this young poor girls crush.......wrong. it was only a couple of years ago that he was let out of prison in australia for apparently raping a girl. so my advice to myself and any other young naive girl out there is never trust a guy that wants to wear your lip balm once its already been applied to your lips.
I am an optimist so hopefully my love life can only go up from here. Wrong. (see any future things i may blog about to prove that point)
Now moving on to my best friend from school, We were best friends for years, quite inseperable really. I am a very forgiving person and she did many things throughout our friendship that i had to forgive her for. She was an only child which didnt help things, she was a very selfish and spoilt girl as shed never had to share the spot light with anyone else before which caused us to clash at times, but all friends have little fall outs, its what makes you good friends because you learn to get past it. Well that all suddenly changed after she made the biggest mistake any friend can make to the other,
Girl CodeRule number one: Dont get with the guy that your friend is in love with and has been for ages (my guy crush number 2) So you are now right to assume that she is an ex friend and that ive learnt my lesson. Dont trust any girl that says shes going to the toilet, then after about 25minutes later wanders back into your bedroom saying "just added your brother to my list" SLUT!! No friend should ever touch your brother without asking for the all clear with you first. Girl CodeRule number two: Never ever hook up with a friends immediate family, this includes brothers, fathers and first cousins. (always get the all clear first)
So after re- reading back what ive written i think its safe to say that i shouldnt really be trusted to choose who i get close to. My life long besty will definitely agree with me on this as she warned me against my ex-slut friend many years ago, telling me she was a "not right" but i guess in life we listen to what people tell us but we dont actually let it affect what we actually think, we have to make our own mistakes in life and learn from the consequences of our own choices. It is what shapes us into the people that we are supposed to become. So all i can do is learn from the past and try and make better decisions in the present.
