Humor Magazine

Woman Attempts to Eat Wendy’s in Presence of Toddler

By Mommabethyname @MommaBeThyName

Woman is sitting in kitchen with son, 2, daughter, 21 months, when husband arrives home with lunch after a meeting.

Woman is waiting for childrens’ grandfather to arrive to take him home to visit Grammy.

Wendy's

Man wanders off to change, while woman gets up to retrieve her meal. Woman gives toasted bun with cheese on it to son, who has already eaten.

“Mom? What you eatin’? Mom, what’s that thing? Cake? You eatin’ cake, Mommy?”

“No, honey. It’s a burger.”

“Burger? You eatin’ a burger?”

“Yes, honey. It’s a burger.”

“I want burger. I have some burger?”

“Papa will be here in a few minutes to pick you up, so you can go to Grammy’s. Papa’s going to make you some dinner.”

“Put burger on this bread,” toddler says, smashing index finger into toasted bun with cheese on it.

Woman looks down, cuts her meat, and eats silently.

“Mom, what that taste? What’s that taste?” toddler says, pointing to chocolate Frosty.

Women continues chewing silently.

“Mom, what’s that taste? What IS it?” toddler presses.

Woman reminds son his grandpa will arrive soon. Child busies himself with his toasted bun and crayons.

Son walks around table to investigate straw, lying on a napkin, that woman was unsuccessful at using in chocolate Frosty, due to some unidentifiable straw defect.

Son picks up straw. Woman has moved on to her small Chili. Has added two packets of hot sauce for insurance.

“What’s that taste?” he asks, still inspecting the straw.

“This? Chili. It’s really hot. Whew! Not for kids. Just for grownups. So hot! Want to taste it?”

Holds out spoon with chili on it, “It’s really hot. Want to try it?”

Child shakes head. “No, it’s too hot. Too hot for kids.”

Child puts lips to straw, looks down, begins to suck.

Child swallows. Recognition spreads across his face.

“Chocolate! It’s chocolate!”

Woman groans.

“I taste it more? Taste it more, Mommy?”

Woman hands child spoonful of chocolate Frosty.

“Mmm. Das yummy,” child responds.

Woman feverishly shovels contents of Frosty cup in mouth.

“Taste that more, Mommy? Me taste it? Me taste what’s in you cup?”

“Sure, baby. Here you go,” woman feeds toddler another spoonful. Then another spoonful. And one more spoonful.

Meal is gone.

Child vacates with his grandfather.

Woman sighs. Finds Dove Promises in cabinet.


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Two More Failed Hippie Attempts

    I'm a self-professed try-it-all kitchen-experimenter. My mom gets a kick out of hearing what I'm planning to cook up next. Boots usually just rolls his eyes at... Read more

    By  Eatingcrowpie
    SELF EXPRESSION
  • Tooth-brushing and the Temperamental Toddler

    Tooth-brushing Temperamental Toddler

    Welcome to My Morning My toddler is on the ground, pinned under my leg, and thrashing his head from side to side.  He’s also screaming in a manner I worry will... Read more

    By  Therealsupermum
    FAMILY, PARENTING, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Toddler Tasties – Banana and Peanut Butter Wraps

    Toddler Tasties Banana Peanut Butter Wraps

    I have seen this idea numerous times online. I have probably pinned it 5 times on Pinterest. I had put it aside to try with the twins one day when I thought the... Read more

    By  Meltingmoments
    DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • {Recipe} Toddler Sized Pizza

    {Recipe} Toddler Sized Pizza

    Hardly a revolutionary recipe (if I can even call it a recipe) but it was a huge hit in this house.I made four mini pizzas.What I used: Tomato Paste Small... Read more

    By  Meltingmoments
    DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Medicine Woman

    Medicine Woman

    Most of us have offered up healing energy, positive thoughts, and prayers on behalf of family, friends, and even people not known to us personally. This flower... Read more

    By  Kcaseysmith
    PHOTOGRAPHY, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Eat This!!!

    So who’s drinking the peach drink anyway? You know, that orange liquid cascading in the clear plastic dispenser behind the cashier at your local coffee shop, th... Read more

    By  Dpitter
    DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Eat, Pray, Love

    Eat, Pray, Love

    *Cheese Alert!* I was strolling with my dog, Skyler last night as we enjoyed the breeze of a seemingly mild weather, considering it's been scorching hot out her... Read more

    By  Shangi
    LIFESTYLE, SELF EXPRESSION