Athletics Magazine

Why Canada Is Better Than the U.S.

By Brisdon @shutuprun

I was at the grocery store today in the aisle that has all the face stuff. I am so low maintenance and clueless, I don’t do much for skin care and it is catching up to me. I have the major “11’s” going on between my eyes and the jowls are starting to show up around my mouth. Don’t get me started on my neck. That’s what scarves are for.

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(Okay, those lines between my brow actually look more like drunken “111’s” but you get the picture).

I am not sure exactly when this happened, but I am pretty sure all of those years of slathering myself in baby oil and burning myself to a crisp did not help.

The lady restocking the shelves at the store asked if she could help me find something. I told her why yes, she could help me find something to make me look ten years younger. She said, “What about Preparation H?”

Now, I have heard this rumor, that Preparation H, aka butt cream, is supposed to help with wrinkles. So, I bought some. But, only the generic brand because I am cheap and I am not sure I believe in all of that anyway.

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This is one way to cover up the lines around my mouth

I came home and did some research at my in-house library called Google.

What I found out is that Prep H only works for wrinkles if you buy it in Canada. Why? Because in Canada they make it with the ‘secret’ ingredient Bio-dyne, also known as Live Yeast Cell Derivative – LYCD and that’s what helps with the wrinkle factor. The U.S. used to make it that way, but no more. Crap. I got my wrinkles too late. Long live Canada!  You rock! You know how to do hemorrhoids in style!

The U.S. stuff, however, does contain phenylephrine HCI, which can reduce puffiness around the eyes (and apparently the anus).

At least I’m prepared for when I get puffy eyes and hemorrhoids someday. Can’t wait for the future!

Oh, this is a running blog? Well, I did not run today. Remember? I’m trying to take it easy after Sunday’s slug fest (BTW, thanks so much for all of the comments on that post. It really does help to know I am not the only one who has hideous running days).  I did yoga today and tried a new pose called Turtle. 

Why Canada Is Better Than the U.S.

Now you try it, but don’t blame me if you get stuck or pull something. And, I don’t recommend farting while in this pose. Not that I tried it or anything.

What do you use on your face?

Any other yoga go-ers out there? (Besides this girl of course.) I do yoga at least once per week either Vinyasa or Bikram style. Not Gangnam style, though.

SUAR


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