Gingerfightback’s Hugh Pugh-Barney-McGrew was interviewing the heir apparent about his love of courgettes when Chas blurted into the microphone,
Defender Of The Sausage
“I’m sick of these Jock arsewipes moaning about how hard done by they are. Mama forces One to traipse around some God for-fuckin-saken heather moor singing like Moira Anderson’s castrated cousin about,”Weee misty ooop the skelter” or “dinnae na bricht ma panty liners” whilst me knackers are frozen. Kilts are for C*nts who eat deep fried Mars bars, drink deep fried Lager and wear deep fried Shellsuits.
Braveheart? One’s arse.
If I have to hear “500 Miles” by them speccy Proclaimer bastards again I’ll get Mama to fellate Gordon Brown in the fuckin’ Tower. Bathgate no more – thank fuck – Shitehole – Alex Salmond? Lying Jock wanker. Leave old slaphead Robinson alone! Nick may be an arse bandit and Establishment lickspittle but he’s my arse bandit and my lickspittle. Caber tossing bastards…..”
He then hopped over a fence to steal a pair of women’s knickers that were on a rotary dryer in the balmy Edinburgh air.
“One’s Always Been A Thong Man!”
