Who am I? It’s something I struggle with every single day of my life.
I’ve been this or that for so long now that somewhere amongst the stereo typical labels I detest so much I’ve kind of gotten lost.
I’m a mother, that’s the most important part of myself, the most wonderful thing in the world as well as the hardest thing I will ever do but I’m not me when I’m with my children; I’ve jumped into the ‘ mum’ zone. Mum lives to serve, protect and look after the children.
When the kids are in school I’m the housemaid, I look after the house and I’m the part time animal keeper of my zoo. A dog, three cats, two hamsters, a rat, a shark and three plecs and a venus fly trap which technically isn’t an animal but you do feed it.
I’m also the lunchtime supervisor; cook, cleaner, general manager and office assistant to my household.
When the kids are in bed I’m the girlfriend, I sit and talk about his day, or watch some boring crap on TV and count myself lucky if he doesn’t fall asleep.
At no point do I ever get to be me. I don’t even know who me is.
I used to be fiery and feisty and fresh with my words, but now I’m more sedate than sadistic.
I used to soak up books like they were made of chocolate I loved them, but now I’m lucky if I’m awake after one page.
I used to love jigsaws, but now my son eats them so I don’t do them.
The highlight of my day is making a coffee. That’s how exciting I am.
The lines have blurred in-between all my roles now that I’ve lost my plan along the way. I used to dream of being an author but now I dream of sleep. The really sad part is if the kids were to all grow up and set off on their own paths in the world, I still don’t think I would be better off.
Will I ever be me?
What if I’m so boring that I can’t stand myself?
I’m sort of lost in translation at the moment, but it’s all I know.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mum who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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