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While You Were Dreaming Of Eating Turkey, Facebook Was Proposing New Privacy Changes

By Nottheworstnews

We at NTWN received email from Facebook at around 1:25 EST on Thursday morning about proposed changes to privacy, which the Globe and Mail outlines nicely here.

Included in the proposed changes:

  • eliminating your ability to prevent anyone from sending you messages on Facebook (this initially appears to allow prospective stalkers, corporations, and your neighbor’s barking dog to send you messages)
  • combining user data from Instagram (which Facebook now owns) with Facebook data (the combined data may be: this person really likes to party!)
  • taking away the right of users to vote for changes (hey, some of you actually voted for Timeline and decreased privacy? Really? We had no clue we had a right to vote!)

3 Simplified Privacy Policies That We Would Like To Propose That Facebook Use

1. If you want to use our service, we will probably sell your personal information to companies, who may put your image in ads, and show you more ads, until you get tired of using our service. But go ahead, and join our largest competitor, Twitter! See how much privacy you get over there when your friends post what you’re doing at K-Mart on Black Friday to the world in real time!

2. If you don’t want to use our service, that’s okay, your friends have already posted four years of drunken college photos of you on our service. Are you sure you don’t want to join our service so you can at least see the latest photos these friends will continue to post? Of course you do, welcome back!

3. Yeah…um… if you thought that game of Farmville you were playing alone on a Friday night at 11:00 p.m. was private… um, no, you invited everyone you know to play along, and they all saw your message on their iPhones while they were out having fun at bars, looking at iPhones, instead of talking to each other.


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