When One Door Closes....

....another window opens
And it's so true!I went in to school on Tuesday to officially sign off of my courseI wasn't looking forward to going inAnd seeing everyone But as luck would have itI only ran in to a couple of the girls And they were lovely I had to go to one of my tutors He asked how things were going I told him I was struggling And needed to take some time offHe said the foot is always open And that I had been doing really well with my course workPity he didn't tell me that at the time I could have done with some positive feedback Anyway I am now off the course And I have to tell you It's like a weight lifted off my shouldersAnd I'm not the only one Three other girls have left tooBut I'll get back to that I went home feeling relieved If a little sad about what to do next I got home Later on My sister came in from workAnd said she needed to speak to me Apparently There is a guy she works with Who has a pony And needs help looking after himMy interest was instantly peaked The horse is a piebald cobHe used to belong to travellers Who used him to pull vehicles And generally didn't treat him well His present owner has him about a year And up until recently he had a horsey companion who unfortunately died So the owner thinks the pony is lonely I immediately emailed the owner Who sent me information and pictures The pony has been renamed CocoAnd needs help to be caught And fedSo I am going to visit Coco and his owner tomorrow And I don't need to tell you I am super excited!I am going to show that pony so much love he won't know what hit himBut first things first We need to be introduced We need to build a relationship and trust And I have  I doubt it will take time Patience is not a virtue I possess Being a greedy addict I want everything now!I just know this pony is going to teach me so much I haven't even met him and I love him already!Now I know I made the right decision about my course This is what I want to be doing Helping animals that have had a bad start in life And show them love and care and trust I just know me and Coco are going to be besties...
In other newsI went back to horse therapy this weekBack with my friends And my buddy StarIt was amazing I loved every secondI would post pictures but this app won't let me for some reasonBy the wayIf anyone wants to be friends on FacebookEmail me and I'll give you my nameI also met one of the girls from my course for tea yesterday She also has left the course We had a great chat And compared notes about our experience We are a similar age And we both found the classroom difficult The gossipDiscussing everyone's business We came to the conclusion that our horsemanship tutor was great But our horse riding instructor was really tough going The atmosphere in that stables was tense We were shouted at Ridiculed Humiliated even I was a nervous wreck going to the stables each weekTo the point that I was dreading going in I also had to question where I was going after the course And what kind of job I wanted to get I now know that my heart lies in the rescue of animals I'm not really interested in competing or anything like it I want to help horses and donkeys That is my calling I thinkAnd of course horse riding is a great hobbyFor both physical and mental exercise All I know is that animals make me so happy My own dogs are two life savers I can't even begin to tell you how much they mean to me Which is why I was so upset over Leas recent diagnosis She is doing well though She gets her meds every morning She's eating and drinking wellHer form is good She is on rest thoughts So no walkers for herWhich I think she is finding toughThe vet recommended swimming though So when the weather improves I will bring her to the natural pool down at the beachShe is going back to the vet next weekSo hopefully she continues up stay well
As for me?I am doing pretty good I feel stable My body feels strong and ablePurging is a rarity And I'm not restricting or weighing I look okI don't love it But I don't hate it either I was speaking with my Dad this morning We were in the supermarket And he asked me if I needed Anything I said noI didn't need anything He reminded me of the days I used up but bags of shopping every daySpending a fortune on food that would eventually be flushed down the drainIt. Was. Bat shit crazy! I was a woman possessed I spent my days eating and purging Weighing myself multiple times a day My mood as well as my weight was like a yo-yoVery unstable Very out of controlIt was pretty scary To feel like I just couldn't stopI used to wake up in the night And eat a packet of biscuits no bother to meNow the thought of purging makes me come out in a cold sweat Now I eat little abs often I don't binge I don't restrict At this point I must stressThat things are by no means perfect They never will be And that's ok I am doing my level best And I am as close to happy as I have ever been But I must admit Like a typical addict I tend to look for replacements for the issue that I have under controlAnd for the last couple of years That addiction has bounced to my spending money Namely on clothesLast year When I was working I was earning a nice little wage I saved nothingNada Not a red cent I spent all my money on Fatface and Superdry and Roxy My room is bursting at the seams with hoodies and jeans and shoes and boots It's ridiculous More madnessI see something in line And I think to myself 'If I had that jacket, my life would be complete!'I buy it I get the parcel in the post I feel excited opening itTrying it on And the novelty soon wears offThenI'm straight back on the web looking at more clothes Make of that what you willI gave an addictive personality When I become interested in something I am so enthusiastic So eager to learn and do and helpNow that I have realised the madness of my internet shopping That issue had to be replaced And it has been replaced By horses Which is pretty healthy compared to some of my own past addictions and obsessionsAt least I can't harm myself or anyone around me This is just me. When I like something I love it and just want to be around it all the time And will do anything to do soThis is why I made a good addict Single minded and stubborn to the bitter end But Even though I go from zero to sixty in jig time It can be a good thing I get things done quickly and efficiently But it also means I tend not to pace myself And jump in feet first without thinking things through I guess it's both a blessing and a curse 
SoI think that is all the news from my world Lots of positive things happening I feel good about the future I feel positive that everything will be okI will be ok I
Will
Be
Ok....