We all do this. We look at where we are in life and we look at others around us – particularly those in similar situations – and we compare. It’s not really a habit as such, but it’s definitely something we do relentlessly, over and over, and it can often make us feel like crap.
Firstly, know that you are not alone - everyone does this. It’s actually healthy to compare. It means that you are part of this world, this universe, and you are looking to better yourself.
Also know that it’s what you see in yourself, that you identify in others. You know that girl that seems to have it all yet you don’t? You are identifying exactly what is in you, but what you may not yet have finessed, and that’s exactly why it’s tweaking you. If it creates a response in you, then you are identifying in someone else what is already in you.
When you’re comparing yourself with others, it can feel terrible because you feel that you are lacking. The basic human response is to want to feel better; like you are more, or better. Unfortunately, sometimes others are just further along the path than we are. This evokes a reaction because, obviously, we don’t particularly want anyone else to be further down the path than we are. Yet there are blocks that are preventing us from getting there.
Here’s what to do if you are comparing yourself with others, yet coming up short.
- Know that you are not inferior. Everyone on this planet was made equal. We are all in this together, and we are all connected. It’s what we do with our existence that counts. Comparing yourself with someone else is never effective, because they are at a different stage in life than you. Not only that, but they have had a different experience and response to that experience than you. There is no one that you should be comparing yourself to, but you. Everyone has different levels of opportunities, but those can easily be wasted – just as a lack of opportunity can be taken advantage of.
- Identify in others what you see in you. When we compare ourselves to others, and find ourselves short, as I’ve already mentioned it’s because we see ourselves in them – we may just not be as far down the path as they are. Recognise what is tweaking you that is already within you. Identify it and accept that it’s actually what you want in life – you just have blocks that are preventing you from getting there.
- Use this as inspiration to take yourself to the next level. Looking at others and feeling envious of what they have is, in fact, a great thing. Because it means that you are recognising what you actually want for yourself. However, of course you don’t want it exactly as they have it – you want your own spin on it. Whether it’s a boyfriend or a husband, a job, a career, money, travel… You don’t want exactly what this person you’re envious of has! Of course not. You want your own success, in your own way. Now that you’ve identified what has tweaked you, look at where you can create success of your own kind in your life. Just remember – everyone does this. Everyone compares themselves. It’s just the way of progress.
How do you react when you have compared yourself with someone else and you have found yourself coming up short? What has worked for you?
