Yesterday was the first time in quite a while that the psychiatrist wanted me to sit in on the whole session. It was also the first time in a long time I have wanted to apologize for my daughter’s rude and irritable behavior. It was like listening to a toddler whinge and have a hissy fit cause life isn’t nice.
Yes we (Dr W and me) know it is exam time, almost end of Yr 12, big changes coming but even cutting Sophie the slack for that, didn’t even begin to cover her behavior. Grow up came to mind quite a bit.
Basically the appointment settled into ‘Sophie you are not caring enough for yourself’. Of course you are tired and overwhelmed – more so when you don’t take enough care. Everything just piles in on top and it becomes unbareable and you cannot see clearly to make decision. It’s easier to just give up on life and self.
Dr W laid down the law very strongly. As she said she can get away with telling her 18yr old patient this stuff, whereas I cannot. Sophie keeps getting told by both her counsellors that she needs to own self-care, own recovery, make decisions that benefit her. Not sit around and wait for someone to wave the wand, or for me to tell her (which she ignores – she is too old for mom to tell her what to do).
So:
1. Get to bed earlier. A decent night sleep most nights is essential.
2. No computer after 9pm to allow the body to settle for sleep.
3. Get up earlier to reset her body clock.
4. Getting up earlier allows her to get more motivated and do things – less depression.
5. Exercise – go to martial arts and get moving.
6. Eat properly, don’t miss meals by sleeping in.
Basic stuff isn’t it – like we all know this. But it gets forgotten. Or you just forgo a couple, then you stop doing the other self-care and you slip lower. Part of Sophie mood is because she is not self caring – her depression and zilch motivation. It matters even more for someone with an eating disorder to care for themselves. The ED uses every little slip up to establish it’s control again.
I really thought she’d ignore the advice which she has done every other time. But obviously Dr W strict talk got through. In bed early, set her alarm, up at 9am with a list of things to do. Yay! See how long it lasts.
