I am trial this new idea where I basically look at a film and give commentary in a comical way, these posts will be spoiler heavy and I will leave a link to the real review inside.
Today I am looking at Lucy the Black Widow Origin story, well it feels like it for a while when she starts kicking everyone arses.
In Lucy we get yet another attractive young actress showing the girl from the good Old Boy just what happens when you leave Hong Kong cinema and make an American movie, ‘ you either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the generic foreign villain’.
Luc Besson decides to try and recycle the iconic villain from Leon performed by Gary Oldman with this villain Mr Jang being over the top with how he acts, but just not as twisted because he doesn’t need to be.
Just in case we get bored of watch Scarlett Johansson Kicking ass we have the greatest narrator from American Morgan Freeman telling us what is happening in the film because he is old making him smart and fully trustworthy.
Cliché time, junkie gets forced to become drug mule against their will, well if the shoe fits. We don’t even get the names of the fellow mules they are actually credited by the country they are sent too, seriously.
Lucy gets hurt and starts turning into the Black Widow, using her new intelligence and fighting abilities to solve problems on her own, because screw the rest of the Avengers doing all their own solo films.
While trying to solve what is happening Lucy goes all Transcendence on us and starts dissolving but that just stops without giving us a reason because, well there was still 30 minutes in the film and all.
When the Black Widow and Lucius Fox meet up we get one of those awkward Marvel meets DC moments but I am most thankfully that Morgan Freeman doesn’t need to narrate scenes he is in.
Well after showing us an insane amount of random images through the film we might as well have the same thing happen in the final act to because, lets save money on actually making a film and just give the audience a subliminal messages.
Well shit Scarlett does three films (Lucy, Under the Skin and Her) where she ends up not having a body, seriously what’s up with that? We want to see Scarlett, We want Scarlett, We Want Scarlett.
