A few days ago I talked about my “cult” and the kind of people I would like in it. Well, last week I met my first acolyte! Yes, I’m joking, I’m not really recruiting acolytes folks, please stop sending me your applications (except you Ruth, you keep sending!) but I will say that I’ve been very interested in the whole dating coach idea over the years and the chance to talk to Greg in person was priceless. The following are notes from our conversation along with some additional thoughts by me. If you’re interested in learning more about Greg, feel free to check out his site “GK Shares Game“
What Is A Dating Coach?
It’s just like it sounds. It’s someone who takes you out and shows you how to start a conversation with a woman and get a date.
How Do You Do That?
Mostly you need to teach them how to lead. There are a few techniques and lines you could teach them in order to help them out, but it’s mostly about confidence and realizing that failing isn’t that awful. A lot of these guys, they believe something awful is going to happen if they approach a woman and fail. So I just need to teach them that failing isn’t that bad. Mostly it’s just about getting them to act. Some people, they talk and think but they never act.
Gal’s note: If you take nothing away from this post except the above answer then I would consider my job done. Remember, it’s all about confidence and a huge part of confidence is knowing that failing is not that bad.
We usually spend a few hours walking around San Francisco going through places like book stores, museums and so on. If we see a woman that the client is interested in, I ask him to approach her. That basically means he needs to go talk to her and try to get a date.
Are Most Guys Successful?
Not the first time, although there have been occasions where I’ve had to sit back for hours and just watch my customer talk to someone. That’s fine though, it means I’m doing my job right.
What Do You Do With Guys Who Are Too Afraid To Approach?
I might give them a few specific lines to say, maybe some basic lines. I don’t believe in lines though, I believe it’s all about leading, the lines are just a crutch until you understand that. If that doesn’t work, I’ll give them some smaller goals, like maybe just saying hi or getting a phone number rather than a date. Set some lower goals this way so it’s not too intimidating.
Gal’s Note – This is a great way to build up confidence by the way. Start with something small that’s easier to do successfully, build up a good track record and work your way up.
And You Get Paid For This?
Yep. Guys pay around $1300 to $1400 for a bootcamp, which usually consists of one or two weekend days.
Do You Get A Lot Of Repeat Customers?
No. I consider a repeat customer to be a failure of sorts. It means I didn’t teach them enough the first time. I do keep my door open to former students and if they want to ask me a question over phone or email, that’s great, but I’ve rarely had someone come back for another bootcamp.
Gal’s Note: I love this. Someone uninterested in helping would milk his customers for multiple repeat appointments. Greg seems genuinely interested in his customer’s success and he doesn’t try to sell them extra stuff they don’t need.
How Did You Get Into This Business?
Well, I was a journalist by trade. However, at the age of 25 I had no dates and I was still a virgin. So I got interested in the whole pickup community, took a bootcamp and found myself really enjoying the scene. I apprenticed with an experienced instructor and then started teaching on my own.
Gal’s Note: As I’ve mentioned before, if you want to have happy customers, you need to understand. Greg clearly does.
I Noticed You’re Semi Retired Now, How Come?
Well, I think at some point I just got tired of it and wanted to move on. I still coach on occasion but it’s no longer what I do for a living.
What Have You Been Doing Instead?
I’ve traveled a lot. Been to many different places. Now I’m looking to get back into a more regular life and find a job I’m interested in. I’ll probably go back to something journalism related but we’ll see. I think I’m just moving on from the whole bachelor life style in general.
We also talked for a bit about a business idea I had and GK was more than forthcoming with advice and information. This is exactly what I meant in that cult post. Here’s a man who’s honest, confident, helpful, understanding, motivated, giving and all those other things. He doesn’t hold back just because someone’s a stranger. Instead, he treats strangers with respect and tries to help even if there’s nothing in it for him. He’s exactly the kind of person I hope to connect with and I hope I can maintain my contact with him even if my business idea crashes and burns.
One last note. I got in touch with Greg because I was interested in his opinion about my business idea. So I sent him an email, told him what I wanted to talk about and he replied back. We set up a time to talk and off we went. What are you interested in? Who’s out there doing the thing you want to do? Why not drop them a message and see what they say? Worst case scenario, they ignore you. Best case, you find a friend, a mentor or a potential employer.