Sometimes I walk into my high school and realize that the young boys and girls who surround me will grow up and have children of their own. Just like we learn from our parents, so will our future children learn from us.
That’s when I panic.
There’s one kid in my class who particularly worries me a lot. He is sixteen years old and preaches equality because he’s a self proclaimed “punk rocker” yet still talks shit about women. What’s worse, he genuinely believes in what he says. I don’t think he is trying to be a bad person when he says he truly believes that rape is not just the attacker’s fault, but the victim’s as well. Someone – maybe his father, maybe another influential adult – taught him that behavior. He apparently didn’t have other adults in his life to tell him he was wrong. And he isn’t even the worst guy in my class.
These boys will grow up to be fathers and the children they will raise will learn from the things they say. The circle will repeat itself in the infinite loop that perpetuates patriarchy.
So many of my male peers think it’s completely okay to make sexual innuendos to my chemistry teacher and to call me “baby” out of the blue. They think that it’s acceptable to harass girls in class. But what’s worse? My chemistry teacher responds by saying, “They’re just joking, boys will be boys, right?” The girls called baby daily? “Oh they’re kidding it’s not a big deal.” That these women don’t identify these behaviors as sexual harassment goes to show how deeply patriarchy infiltrates our society.
This is not just “boys being boys.” These are boys who feel entitled to make unwanted sexual advances towards their female co-workers, who will touch her without her permission and make her uncomfortable. And then they might teach their kids that this is normal, that sexual harassment is “harmless.” These kids will raise their children the way Sam Pepper was raised to believe sexual harassment is a joke.
So I ask all of you out there who have children: What are you teaching them? Don’t you realize the kind of damage telling your little girl it’s normal for older men to call to her on the street, that it’s just “boys being boys,” does? How do you not realize you must teach your son that women are never “asking for it” and that they must obtain consent?
Maybe there are many adults out there who won’t change their minds, but we still have a chance with every new generation that’s born. I firmly believe that if we treat educating our children about what is and what is not okay we can make a real change in the world. Parents can’t assume their children know what’s right, but must consistently and persistently teach them. Feminism is for everyone, including the young children who will one day take our places in this fight and, hopefully, will have children for whom these issues no longer exist.
