Therealbarman
This is me sipping bourbon, or it might be iced tea after the ice all melted, I can't really remember. I have two kids and a wife and two cats even though I like dogs a jillion times more. I tell bar stories and I entertain and some people might say I'm more awesome than juggling chain saws on fire. I never heard anyone say that, but it's possible. Cheers.
The RB
MY BLOGS
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TheRealBarman
http://TheRealBarman.com/
Welcome to TheRealBarman. I am a real bartender from the East Bay, CA who is fluent in nightlife, BS, and everything related to the bartending industry. I love to share bar stories and chat about anything and everything that relates to fun and and usually immature topics. And chasing shiny things. I like chasing shiny things.
LATEST ARTICLES ( 170 )
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My 10 Most Amazing Accomplishments in Life Thus Far
For reasons beyond my comprehension, at least once a week I encounter a patron at my bar who, with great empathy and pity, asks me why I am still bartending at... Read more
Posted on 16 January 2013 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
10 Rules of Etiquette for the Clueless Man
A week ago one of my readers emailed me a question about bar etiquette, which I answered in a most knowledgeable and proficient manner, as I have been in this... Read more
Posted on 08 January 2013 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – The Layman’s Version
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,Had unique and differentiating qualities that set him apart from the rest of his peers,And if you ever saw him,You would... Read more
Posted on 21 December 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
A RealBarman Christmas Poem
Twas the month of December when all through the barGathered an assortment of party-goers from near and afar.The liquor bottles were placed on the shelf with... Read more
Posted on 10 December 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Hangover Persecution
The Hangover is in dire need of a public defender.Until that happens, the Hangover should disappear and go into hiding deep in the caves of Iraq, and it... Read more
Posted on 28 November 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Sandi’s 7-Step Guide to Becoming a Great Server
Hello, my name is Sandi with an “i” and I hate ranch dressing more than Iraqis hate Americans.As a recent graduate of Bowman’s Academy of Acting in the top 87%... Read more
Posted on 07 November 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Return to Manhood
We are all aware of this scene: a shirtless man wearing jeans and a tool belt takes a break from sanding the deck, walks up to his girl and grabs her around th... Read more
Posted on 29 October 2012 DRINK, LIFE COACH, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Dear Honey, You’re Memory Sucks!
Welcome to Mega-Suck Mondays, Volume 2: Apparently, My Memory Sucks!This was on my bathroom mirror when I woke up this morning:In case you can’t quite read tha... Read more
Posted on 22 October 2012 DRINK, HUMOR, SELF EXPRESSION -
Gambling With Kenny
One of the great things about living in the Bay Area is that I’m only 2 1/2 hours from Tahoe by car and 1 1/2 hours from Vegas by plane, which means several... Read more
Posted on 17 October 2012 RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Welcome to Mega-Suck Mondays! Volume I: Wine Sucks!
Before I go to bed each night, I get on my knees and pray to God with all my soul to at least consider burning all of the wine vineyards on the entire planet... Read more
Posted on 15 October 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION -
Look Ma, I’m in Cosmo!
PAGE 178, FOR YOU COSMO ENTHUSIASTS!It’s true, apparently I’ve made it big time. No, I’m not one of the hot dudes with his shirt off giving smoky looks of lust. Read more
Posted on 12 October 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Difference Between Men & Women
WHICH ONE IS THE CLITORIS? I’ll say it right now, I’m a minimalist and proud of it. If I lived alone my furniture would consist of a grey metal folding chair,... Read more
Posted on 10 October 2012 HUMOR, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
We’ll Miss You Charles
CHARLES SILVERMAN 1984 – 2012 Yesterday a friend and guy I used to work with died in a car crash. He was one of the funniest guys I knew and everyone loved... Read more
Posted on 09 October 2012 DRINK, SELF EXPRESSION -
The 20 Stupidest Things I’ve Ever Heard Said in My Bar
Over the past several months, I’ve been paying attention and writing down things I’ve overheard people say because they’re either wasted or just plain stupid.... Read more
Posted on 04 October 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The 13 Most Common Lies Told in Bars
A few weeks ago I overheard a guy telling everyone within shouting earshot about his all night slumber party with two heavenly vixens. Unfortunately for him, I... Read more
Posted on 26 September 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Emails From Joan
YOUR BLOG OFFENDS JESUS!Though I never intended for it to be this way, apparently my blog is the devil’s playground, where sinners gather and frolic about... Read more
Posted on 18 September 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Ain’t Karma a Bitch?
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU’RE FUCKING WITH, PRETTY BOY!”-FAT DRUNK GUYLast night an absolute PEACH of a gentleman patronized my establishment. Read more
Posted on 12 September 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Booze Braggers
I can’t tell you how sick I am of hearing people boast over how drunk they got the night before (“Duuuuuuuuuude! I was soooo wasted!!!”). Read more
Posted on 06 September 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
Hey Bartender, Get a Life!
Just after I finished with college a terrible mistake was made and I was persuaded by my brother-in-law to attend an Amway meeting. Read more
Posted on 30 August 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION -
The Bourne Legacy is More Like The Bourne Lethargy
I’m not trying to insult your intelligence, but for those of you who are a bit shaky on the definition of lethargy, it means dull, listless, unenergetic,... Read more
Posted on 22 August 2012 DRINK, RANDOM, SELF EXPRESSION