Sparklepanda

LATEST ARTICLES ( 40 )

• Gallows

  My blog posts are necessarily short these days because all I have with me in this hospital is a phone, and that doesnt give much scope for epic essays. Read more

  Posted on 12 February 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• While I'm Down Here You May As Well Get The Boot In

  

  You know you've done something right when you get a hater. It means you've told the truth. The only hater I've had up til this morning was a loooong time ago,... Read more

  Posted on 05 February 2012 COMMUNITY, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• By Hand (with Thanks to Eden)

  

  Eden has started her own meme, from her own brain! Who am I to resist? Some sort of self-centred arrogant know-it-all slunk down in a cesspool of self-pity? Read more

  Posted on 04 February 2012 COMMUNITY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Broken

  

  There is no doubt that if I didn't have kids, I wouldn't be here right now. I hate that I have kids. That they stop me. I hate my existence. Its not a life. I... Read more

  Posted on 02 February 2012 COMMUNITY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Non-Alcoholic

  

  When I was in hospital for alcohol withdrawal, I was put on a drug called Campral. This is supposed to stop all craving for alcohol and assist greatly in... Read more

  Posted on 31 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Seventy-five

  

  Milligrams, that is. Not even halfway to the therapeutic dose. And I appear to be awake and alive and this wont do at all because there is the fetal position... Read more

  Posted on 28 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Post-Stalker Quandry

  

  Did I say quandry? I meant "darkest pits of hell I just want to die because nothing is safe and what is the point in continuing I feel so disgusting I wish I... Read more

  Posted on 27 January 2012 COMMUNITY, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Dear Stalker (or, Why You Can Fuck off Now You Crazy Bitch)

  

  Really, I should watch what I say, for it will surely come and bite me on the ass. A 24 hour turnaround is rather sudden ass-biting though. Read more

  Posted on 26 January 2012 RANTS N' RAVES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Sleeping Angels

  

  When my kids were babies, I did co-sleeping with them off and on as screaming dictated. I have such a clear memory of holding a tiny Felix, marveling at the... Read more

  Posted on 16 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Fat Controller

  zyprexa, as it is wont to do, had me put on 20 kilos in a few short months. After a week without it I have already lost the ravenous appetite that lead me to ea... Read more

  Posted on 15 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Bed Goes Up, Bed Goes Down

  

  A Simpsons' reference for every occasion, including me losing my tiny little mind. I wake to blankness. Probably what the big wigs would call "loss of affect". ... Read more

  Posted on 14 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• This Time Fer Shure

  

  And now for the newest poison on the block, Lamotrigine. An anti-epileptic, known overseas (and sporadically known here) for its kickass ability to knock the... Read more

  Posted on 14 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Excess Baggage

  

  If I were to get a divorce (might happen), and heaven for-fend I should meet someone else that I liked (wont happen) should I just get them to read this blog... Read more

  Posted on 13 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Stating The Bleeding Obvious

  

  Joint shrink session today, me and hubby. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. "Thou must have nought to do with the other!" cried the shrink. Read more

  Posted on 10 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Drink You Have When You Cant Have A Drink

  

  June 7th it was. Now its January 9th. That makes it 6 months. 6 months sober. I could have sworn it was longer. Over the holidays I’ve discovered the joy of... Read more

  Posted on 09 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Stares At Screen Blankly

  

  We now resume our normal broadcast. Within 24 hours of stopping the Lithium, I could function normally. No more catatonia! conversations! Ability to write! It... Read more

  Posted on 08 January 2012 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Drugs Dont Work, They Just Make Things Worse

  

  I doubt The Verve were singing about Lithium, but they may as well have been. Tomorrow I see my gp to tell her I Say NO to Lithium. I have only become able to... Read more

  Posted on 25 August 2011 COMMUNITY, HEALTH, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF EXPRESSION

• Lithium, Thy Name Is...um...(hang On, I Know This)

  

  I am cotton wool brain. I am thoughts stuck in a whirlpool unable to get out. I am words on the tip of my tongue. I am apathy. I am lead. I am sleep. I am... Read more

  Posted on 17 August 2011

• Eating Your Self

  

  When I was a kid, I was tall and skinny. My long legs meant I could run faster than any of the other kids and hence always won the 100m races at school. Read more

  Posted on 10 August 2011 SELF EXPRESSION

• Forty-two

  

  Its statistically half way through my life.1 It is the angle in degrees for which a rainbow appears.2 It is the height in inches of unicorns.3 It is the answer... Read more

  Posted on 03 August 2011 SELF EXPRESSION