Gray Eyed Athena

LATEST ARTICLES ( 197 )

• Quoth the Impostor.

  

  This old black crow again. Wings tacked in pinioned lines sheen like the slick of oil quivers Wings outstretch (inhale) and the air draws tight A drum. Read more

  Posted on 23 January 2015 SELF EXPRESSION

• Today by the Numbers.

  

  6 pounds gone in 3 days 1 banana 2 interviews 12 handshakes 3 mugs of tea 16 ounces of water 1 boot on my car for unpaid parking tickets $300 to get the boot... Read more

  Posted on 07 January 2015 SELF EXPRESSION

• Everything I Learned This Year.

  

  excerpted from David Tomas Martinez’ poem, “The Cost of it All“ And I know as we age our tongues grow numb from lying. And I know in chronological and... Read more

  Posted on 01 January 2015 SELF EXPRESSION

• Finite.

  

  Get ready for a mega post. I’ve got to move all of the Joseph archives into the blog so I’m not constantly stepping on land mines while navigating my computer. Read more

  Posted on 01 January 2015 SELF EXPRESSION

• and I’ve Died So Many Times. Still Alive.

  

  I have died so many times this year. (Please don’t think this is a melodramatic or metaphorical statement about slashed wrists and giving up. Read more

  Posted on 01 January 2015 SELF EXPRESSION

• My 2014 Anthem.

  

  “I Believe” By Christina Perri I believe if I knew where I was going I’d lose my way I believe that the words that he told you are not your grave I know that... Read more

  Posted on 01 January 2015 SELF EXPRESSION

• Healthy + Wealthy + Wise

  

  I’ve gained about 10 pounds while I’ve been home with this neck injury. You can see it in my face, my breasts, and my thighs. Everything still fits, but not... Read more

  Posted on 29 December 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• I Moved Home in May After a Devastating and Painful Break...

  I moved home in May after a devastating and painful break with Joseph. I cheated on him for two weeks with a guy at work and then abruptly ended our nearly... Read more

  Posted on 14 December 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Icarus

  

  When I’m not eating, my body and head ache in a breathless pounding way. It’s more than the tilting rush of standing up or the disturbing pricking pain of my... Read more

  Posted on 14 December 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Checking In.

  

  I’m shredding my insides, again. Laxatives and probiotics at night, support for my friend who just admitted to the same eating disorder program by day. Both... Read more

  Posted on 05 November 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• b r e a t h e

  

  Moments before you pass out–it all softens. Everything becomes tolerable. Sound fades, voices are an underwater tunnel and there is a volume knob on the whole... Read more

  Posted on 16 September 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• g u i l t

  

  In the heat I shiver. No raised hairs or goosebumps; it’s a tremor worn inside out. It was a supporting beam, something integral to the structure but loosened... Read more

  Posted on 02 September 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Breakwater

  

  Slashing at my obligations like a manic sailor shredding his sails while rounding the Cape of Good Hope. Let the current and waves do what they will. Read more

  Posted on 29 August 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• “There’s Not Some Finite Amount of Pain Inside Us. Our Bodies and Minds Just Kee...

  

  Time moves in frozen floes, chunked out in tempo rubato, whole sliding pieces with jagged edges, sharply immemorable. Great holes emptied and in-slipping at... Read more

  Posted on 04 August 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• w i t h o u t

  Sad. I can’t help but miss Joe. This isn’t about replacements or rebounds or forgetting. I just miss him. And he turned so mean, at the end. He intentionally... Read more

  Posted on 20 July 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• the Cost of It All

  

  Trade is the buckle of this world’s belt, shiny with dollar signs. And I know Tibetan windstorms necklace the waking bodies of San Diego. And I know why Muhamma... Read more

  Posted on 17 July 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• I’m Bored with Knitting. I’ve Taken up Arson.

  

  This picture has too many bony things and pieces. Says the important people. You are too bony. Explain to me how that is possible. To be too bony. I have 206,... Read more

  Posted on 17 July 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Was This Hell? To Love Like This?

  

  She smiled, pretty, her skin waxy, dark rings around her eyes. Thank you, I said. Thank you. And I broke down. Just stood there in front of them all and wept,... Read more

  Posted on 14 July 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• I Get It.

  

  Desolate is quiet. Quietude is desolation. Things always look better in the morning. Sleeping helps. Just wait it out. The sun rises, things float to surface, w... Read more

  Posted on 12 July 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Poetry

  something started in my soul, fever or forgotten wings, and I made my own way, deciphering that fire and wrote the first faint line, faint without substance,... Read more

  Posted on 03 July 2014 SELF EXPRESSION