Callofthegreenmonster

LATEST ARTICLES ( 42 )

• Jackie Bradley Jr. Wins Competition for Highest Leap off Pablo Sandoval's Stomach

  

  While Spring Training is a serious time to get ready for the upcoming season, it is also a time for players to unwind and have some fun. Read more

  Posted on 26 February 2015 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Report: Gronk to Spike Koji Uehara on Opening Day

  

  Opening Day at Fenway Park is always a day of great festivities, and the Red Sox are never shy about asking their brother teams in Boston to join. With the... Read more

  Posted on 18 February 2015 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Report: Derek Jeter to Ascend into Heaven After Final Game

  

  At a press conference early this morning, the New York Yankees, citing a revelation from God, have announced that Derek Jeter will ascend into heaven after his... Read more

  Posted on 27 September 2014 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Farrell's "Let's Make Losing Fun" Speech Fails to Inspire

  

  He has tried to be the voice of optimism during a dreadful season. At every turn, manager John Farrell has stuck to his belief that a Red Sox resurgence was... Read more

  Posted on 14 July 2014 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Oft-Injured Victorino Implores Fans to Stop Telling Him "Every Little Thing's...

  

  The song blares out from the loudspeaker each time Shane Victorino (when healthy) comes to the plate. The fans sing along to Bob Marley's classic "Three Little... Read more

  Posted on 08 July 2014 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Sox Discover Large Hole in Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Bat

  

  He came to the big leagues with the highest of expectations and has fallen far short. Though his fielding has been outstanding, his hitting has been abominable. Read more

  Posted on 30 June 2014 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Valentine "Willing to Listen" to Offers If Sox Make Manager Change

  

  To nearly every soul in Red Sox Nation, the Bobby Valentine era was an unmitigated disaster from start to finish, with the Red Sox having their worst season in... Read more

  Posted on 23 June 2014 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Brock Holt Tired of Being Asked When He Will Start to Suck

  

  When Brock Holt woke up one recent morning after another spectacular performance, he was thrilled to see his mother's name on the caller ID as his phone rang.... Read more

  Posted on 16 June 2014 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Red Sox Woes Linked to On-Field Texting

  

  Dustin Pedroia smiled as he read the text message from his wife, telling him she loved him. As he texted back a romantic reply, a weak ground ball dribbled... Read more

  Posted on 12 June 2014 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Sox Rebuilding Strategy to Focus on Signing as Many Catchers as Possible

  

  For months, fans and baseball insiders have pondered what strategy the Red Sox will use as they plan to overcome the disaster of the past year. Make a big splas... Read more

  Posted on 03 December 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Valentine Announces Henry Will Remain as Owner of Red Sox

  

  Amidst a throng of reporters in his office, embattled Sox manager Bobby Valentine said he wished to put to bed rumors that Red Sox owner John Henry is in... Read more

  Posted on 08 August 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Report: Every Player on Red Sox is Unhappy

  

  While we've heard David Ortiz's recent whines about playing for the Red Sox, and reports that Chicken Man Jon Lester is miserable in Boston, Call of the Green... Read more

  Posted on 12 July 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Red Sox to Offer Between-Innings Bungee Jumping from Green Monster Seats

  

  In an effort to increase the non-baseball entertainment level during Red Sox games even as "the sellout streak" goes on, the team announced yesterday that they... Read more

  Posted on 03 July 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Lester Asks Fans for Patience as He Transitions from Being a Good Pitcher to a...

  

  After three stellar seasons on the mound for the Red Sox, Jon Lester tailed off a bit last year, especially in the chicken-and-beer infused last months of the... Read more

  Posted on 26 June 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Clemens Rejects Recent Acquittal, Saying, "I Never Quit Nothing"

  

  One would thought it would have been a moment of supreme joy. Roger Clemens, disgraced PED user, faced perjury charges for lying to congress in his denial of... Read more

  Posted on 22 June 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Report: 28 Percent of Fenway Park Seats Can Cause Permanent Buttock Damage

  

  A stunning report was released yesterday by the American Association of Buttock Research that indicates that fully 28 percent of the seats at Fenway Park can... Read more

  Posted on 20 June 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Valentine Would Like to See More Intensity from Sox Bat Boys

  

  As the Red Sox continue on their journey of mediocrity, Bobby Valentine has identified a number of areas where he would like to see changes in the team's... Read more

  Posted on 14 June 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Carl Crawford Begins Rehab by Tossing a Pingpong Ball 10 Feet

  

  An elated Carl Crawford met with reporters yesterday after the first day of a grueling rehab program for his injured elbow. Crawford revealed that he began by... Read more

  Posted on 12 June 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Lebron James Offering Free Red Sox Tickets to Fans for Tonight's Game

  After another epic choke in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference finals, Lebron James was in a state of panic as he arrived in Boston to face a hostile crowd at... Read more

  Posted on 07 June 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS

• Report: Disgusted Valentine Found Francona Tobacco Wads Stuck Under His Desk

  

  The images are forever etched in the minds of Red Sox fans. For eight years we watched Terry Francona in the dugout, stuffing his mouth with all kinds of... Read more

  Posted on 05 June 2012 BASEBALL, SPORTS