Lee Bemrose

LATEST ARTICLES ( 359 )

• Conversations With Our Customers: The Avocado

  

  A couple of Asian girls walk into the cafe. They look at the menu board for a while and speak to each other in their native language before one steps forward... Read more

  Posted on 04 June 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Just Loved American Beauty All Over Again

  

  Lester Burnham: [narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a... Read more

  Posted on 30 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Following Ruben Jane On Your Friends House

  

  A story of mine, Following Ruben Jane, that has never really been published before. Friends might have read it, but now strangers are reading it, thanks to... Read more

  Posted on 21 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Sales Reps... My Favourite People

  I'm pretty good at just hanging up on telephone salespeople these days. Discount coupon shemers, energy consultants, they are all pretty annoying. Read more

  Posted on 18 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• On Being An Introvert

  This is an interesting read from Sarah Wilson. I sometimes totally don't get why I am the way I am. Why sometimes I can't bear to be around fun people, why at... Read more

  Posted on 14 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• The Dying

  When he looked back, he could see a point where he lost interest in those who were percieved as being close to him, their love a clumsy misunderstanding. He... Read more

  Posted on 13 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Love & Farts

  

  I think the word should be "possibly", not "probably". Some of my most memorable farts have been forced ones, ones where I have sweated with the thought that... Read more

  Posted on 12 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• A Review of a Review

  Dear John Davidson,Thank you so much for your feedback. Wow. You are obviously such a foodie and such a great writer. You should write food reviews for a living... Read more

  Posted on 03 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Conversations with Our customers:DO WELL THE BACON!

  My least favourite customer - a misery stricken fucker if there ever was one - became my least favourite customer when he put in his breakfast request one... Read more

  Posted on 02 May 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• SeriousLee

  Just reading a feature inThe Age about comedian Jennifer Saunders on the launch of her biography Bonkers: My Life In Laughs (which sounds like a bloody good... Read more

  Posted on 25 April 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Conversations With Our Customers: The Seven Second Rule

  Some of our Argentinian Shortbread dolce de leche biscuits had crumbled under the weight of being the best biscuit on Gertrude Street, so we broke them up... Read more

  Posted on 15 April 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Conversations with Our Customers: The Babyccino

  A father, a big, gentle creative type with tattoos and piercings, and his son walk into the cafe. The father orders a long black and a babyccino. They sit down. Read more

  Posted on 13 April 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Creative Couplings.

  I have the most amazing life partner. She is the only one. I have amazing friends.But I think I missed my creative partner. Maybe next time. Read more

  Posted on 12 April 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Conversations With Our Customers: Merle Thornton.

  

  Merle Thornton is a regular customer. Months ago, shortly after we opened the cafe, she and her husband came knocking on our doorjust after we had closed for th... Read more

  Posted on 07 April 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Lols In Grumpy & The Dreaded One's Little Cafe Of Awesome

  

  I get mixed reactions when people read my old Grumpy columns in the cafe... and yes I usually disecretly watch when I see that someone has flipped to the back o... Read more

  Posted on 02 April 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Conversations With Our Customers: Be Grateful

  When you're feeling crabby and pissed off because work's a bitch, you don't have enough hours in the day and someone in your sphere has this really annoying... Read more

  Posted on 15 March 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• A Basil Fawlty Conversation With Our Customers

  

  As you may or may not know, we don't have table numbers in our cafe, we have a selection of animals. It's been a bit of a hit with the customers. Read more

  Posted on 14 March 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• The Importance (or Not) Of Pokelery

  In Grumpy The Dreaded One's Little Cafe Of Awesome, just yesterday, I watched a customer eat a bacon and egg roll with a knife and fork. Seriously - what is... Read more

  Posted on 12 February 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Trusting The Vibe

  A guy comes into the cafe and wants to pre-pay for his team of workers' lunch on his credit card. They are installing air conditioners in the apartments above... Read more

  Posted on 06 February 2014 SELF EXPRESSION

• Remember Those Times.

  Do you remember those timesOf dark hallwaysOf late night blearinessOf stumbling,And daytime eyesWide and blind in the dark,When we'd bump into each otherAnd... Read more

  Posted on 03 February 2014 SELF EXPRESSION