Diaries Magazine

Undie Report

By Chardonaldson
The new undies were a monumental fail.
I woke up with high hopes on Friday morning. Hopes of a smooth, panty-line-free silhouette. Hopes of a leg-line that would remain around the leg and not burrowing up that place that is forbidden to all underwear except for g-strings. Hopes of finishing a run dry.
Well I finished the run dry. But that didn't seem like a consolation prize after enduring over an hour of uncomfortable wedgie action. Running with a wedgie for over an hour is really not much fun. 
I kind of had an inkling that the undies weren't going to meet my exacting standards when I put them on. Those leg gripper things didn't actually grip anything. I reminded myself that once I started to sweat they'd probably stay put. And once I put on my tights they wouldn't be able to move. 
I was wrong on both accounts.
Just moving marginally had that butt riding up and in. I put moisturiser on to help with adherability. All that did was make the tights stick when I tried pulling them up. And trying to pull that wedgie out when you've got tight tights on is an impossible mission.
But I was so sick of the wet-nappy post-run feeling that I was prepared to put up with the slight (okay, not so slight) discomfort. And besides, I was running too close to the wire time-wise to go and change. So I sucked it up, told myself it'd be fine and left for the run. 
The rest of the story will be no surprise. I felt a bit like a magician's assistant being sawed in half and if I appeared a tad distracted to my running buddies, it was because I was a tad distracted by the small piece of fabric that was trying to find a place to hide. I was heartened to finish the run fairly dry but checking my butt profile in the window of my car (doesn't everyone do that?) made me realize that the claim for no VPL was bogus. 
So I learnt something from the experience. Never believe everything you read. And elastic was invented for a reason.
It was back to my usual cotton undies for Saturday's long run. It's one thing putting up with a wedgie for an hour but two hours would have seen me diving into a bush at some stage to wrestle off the offending article and finishing the run commando. 
Undie Report
In the meanwhile the weather has become a little more kind and I have a feeling that the undie search will go on the back burner  until the next sauna-wave hits. And then I'll be regretting that I can be incredibly slack unless I'm motivated.

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