Entertainment Magazine

TV Commercials That Make My Blood Curdle

Posted on the 03 April 2011 by Migrating Coconuts

TV Commercials That Make My Blood Curdle

Hello blogosphere! Miss me? And by blogosphere I mean myself and the two random Facebook friends who are reading this due to extreme boredom. Today, I think it’s time to discuss what’s been on everyone’s mind for a long time: how awful TV commercials have got over the years. I admit that I watch a lot of TV, so perhaps the constant repetition of these heinous commercials is getting to me. However, that said, I’ve heard plenty of complaints about the quality of commercials from non-TV-aholics. Thus, I shall discuss recurring trends in TV commercials and the specific examples that make my blood curdle.

Incompetent Husbands, Controlling Wives, and Women Who Love to Clean

In case you haven’t noticed, commercials in their majority capitalize on several gender stereotypes. (Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be some highly charged feminist rant or anything like that). The most common of these stereotypes include: the immature and incompetent husband, the controlling and borderline bitchy wife, and women who LOVE anything involving cleaning (especially while dressed in nice cardigans and pearls). It’s not that these commercials are offensive. I mean c’mon it’s just a commercial. The problem is that these stereotypes are so overused that it’s getting really annoying.

Example #1: Yoplait Light Yogurt

First of all Yoplait, I’m all for the awesomeness of yogurt, but aspartame-flavored yogurt is not the same as Boston Cream pie…..or Key Lime Pie, or Apple Turnover, or freaking Red Velvet Cake. Get over yourself. The first time I saw this commercial I thought, “What is this woman’s problem? What a bitch.” Seriously though, what’s with the attitude?  Her husband can’t even look in his own refrigerator? Not to mention, she’s hogging an entire shelf in the fridge with her yogurt shrine. Maybe she’s so annoyed because she finally realized she’s actually eating artificially flavored yogurt and not Boston Cream pie.

Example #2: Excedrin Extra-Strength

Synopsis: Young wife walks outside to find her husband setting up a hose on the deck. “You’re going to wash the deck!” she says pleasantly surprised. “Not wash, power-wash!” he replies. He turns on the water and proceeds to lose complete control of the washer, all while looking like a complete imbecile. The wife then grabs her head in frustration and agony, thinking something like, “If only my husband wasn’t so damn stupid, maybe I wouldn’t have this migraine!”  If you’ve never seen this commercial I should mention that in background there is a table on the deck. The table is fully set with napkins, plates, drinks, and large bowl full of Cheetos. I don’t care how dumb you are, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD POWER-WASH A DECK WITH A SET TABLE? Okay, say this guy is actually dumb as a brick. The wife is completely aware of the table and food. If she’s so smart, why would she just watch this happen? Clearly she’s just as stupid or she wanted that migraine.

Example #3: Almost every commercial in existence that involves some sort of cleaning product or household item.

To further explore these ridiculous stereotypes, I leave it to the hilarious Sarah Haskins:

Prescription Drugs: Overwhelming Joy, Sorrow, and Side Effects

Ah, prescription drug commercials. Are there any that aren’t horrible? Some prescription drug commercials choose the “you will be invincible if you take this drug” route.  Sometimes this entails cutesy cartoons, beautiful women having fun, or men fishing in canoes. Other commercials take a more dramatic route, whether it’s convincing you that your mild fatigue is actually severe manic depression, or making the sick feel even more sorry for themselves. Finally, who can ignore the long, inaudible list of side effects at the end of each commercial? Side effects, which often sound worse than the actual condition it treats.

Example #1: Viva Viagra

TV Commercials That Make My Blood Curdle

3 Things I learned from this commercial: 1) Men like to celebrate their new ability by having a sing-a-long with their buddies. 2) Men aren’t ashamed or private about their reliance on Viagra. Quite the opposite in fact. They like to announce it to everyone, in song!  3) Elvis Presley is rolling in his grave.

Example #2: Restasis

“Prescription? What do I have?” “You use Restasis?” It’s not even worth going into detail on this hilarious commercial

Example #3: Pristiq

NEWSFLASH: If you feel tired at all, you are clearly depressed. You shouldn’t have to constantly wind-up that creepy, look-a-like doll you own. By the way Pristiq, thanks for making me feel even more depressed than I was before.

Example #3: Lunesta

TV Commercials That Make My Blood Curdle

Too bad they don’t show that butterfly biting you in the ass the next morning as you wake up disoriented……..in your car…….in another state.  You’re probably better off being an insomniac. Also, maybe it’s just me but if I saw a giant, glowing butterfly trying to attach itself to my back at 3 am, I’d flip out.

Read on to page 2!

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