While on my much needed vacation to the boonies of Montana I began reading a delightful book by Shauna Niequist entitled Bread & Wine. In this book Shauna discusses her journey with her relationships with food, cooking, community, & Jesus. She calls it "A Love Letter to Life Around the Table" and it truly is a lovely read, complete with delicious recipes that I fully intend on making some day.The thing I love most about this book is how she describes the transformation that occurred when she began inviting people into her home for meals. She lovingly talks about her monthly dinners with friends and recounts beautiful memories that are locked deep within her heart & mind.
While reading this book, I imagine a life that looks like hers. One where friends drop by on a whim bringing all the fixins for dinner. One where everyone knows the whereabouts of kitchen items without asking. One where the doors are flung open without a care in the world, welcoming all who wish to enter.
Bu the truth is, a life like that kinda scares me. Living a life with turned out doors sounds beautiful, heavenly even. But I find that my introvert nature is severely challenged by this type of life, especially if these types of moments happen unexpectedly.
Case in point: Several weeks ago my roommate's friend's husband walked into our home without knocking. In he came with a flurry of energy, looking for a table. A table, that as a new inhabitant of this house, I had no clue even existed. A table that he said was in the garage (which doesn't require entry into the house to access) that the roomie permitted him to borrow.
And while he apologized for barging into my home unannounced on my day off, I found myself extremely annoyed. An introvert to the core, I do not do well with unexpected visitors. Heck, even unexpected phone calls freak me out from time to time. I don't like being taken by surprise and my roommate's friend's husband is really lucky that he didn't catch me coming out of the shower or walking around in my undies (as I tend to do when no one else is in the house)! It's moments like these that make me doubt my ability to life a life of turned out doors.
Don't get me wrong, I love having my Life Group gals over weekly for appetizers & Bible study. I love planning parties, big and small. I love the idea of having a home full of energy, laughter, and love. I just want it on my terms, when my introvert self won't be thrown off and when I won't be caught in my knickers.
(It should be noted that the above experience is not normal around here. 99.9% of the time the roomies and I communicate well & give each other notice when guests will be at the house.)
Discomfort aside, Shauna's delicious book has challenged me to push myself in this area. She has challenged me to open up my home bit by bit in order to foster community and further invest in people's lives. She has challenged me to let my guard down a bit and truly welcome people into my home and heart.
I reflect on a song written by the beautiful & talented, Audrey Assad. A verse in the song called "Blessed Are The Ones", she sings the following:
Lets build a house with turned out doors,I want to pour myself out like wine and offer it to those who mean the most in my life. Even if it looks messy, even if it's unexpected, and even if I risk not being 100% comfortable in the moment, I want this house to be one with turned out doors. I want this house to be one where friends & family gather, where connections are made, and where foundations are strengthened. It's a beautiful home brimming with love and the more opportunities I have to invite people to take part in that love, the more life & joy I'll get to experience. And that just sounds beautiful, doesn't it?
So we can share what love affords.
Pour ourselves out like a wine that we've been saving.
