Divorce Magazine

Top Ten Tips for Father's Day....for the Divorced Dad....

By Richard Crooks @FindGodindivorc

Well, we did some tips for Mother’s Day, how about putting out some ideas for Father’s Day?

Top Ten Father’s Day Tips for Newly Divorced Fathers

1)  Don’t try to make up for all the times you DON’T have with your kids, make this time you DO have a special one.

2)  Teach the kids the importance of Father’s Day by setting an example in the way you treat your own dad on Father’s Day.  You might even choose to make it a multi-generational celebration, because remember, grandparents also suffer time loss in a divorce.

3)  Teach the kids something about YOU, by sharing an activity that is important to you and helping them understand why it is.  

4)  If your ex makes the day difficult, choose to NOT focus on that, but to keep central the importance of time with your children….especially if they don’t reside with you most of the time.  Father’s Day isn’t about her, save that for another time.

5)  Pay attention to your budget.  If your resources are limited, (and even if they aren’t) don’t overcompensate by making the celebration over the top…maintain some degree of normalcy and keep some old traditions.

6)  We guys often aren’t good with expressing emotions, and they can really bubble to the surface in a big way on Father’s Day after divorce.  Be prepared for that…maybe arrange to have a buddy you can touch base with during the day if you struggle.

7)  A challenge to you:  if your ex helped the kids shop or make their cards or anything to make the day better for you…send her a thank you card…she is a rare gal if she does.  Your note may impact for the better, relations with your ex for many years to come.

8)  The break with your spouse complicates lots of relationships.  If your father-in-law was a good friend, consider sending him a Father’s Day card, or make sure your children do so for that grandfather.  (But don’t do it if you have been mean to your ex!  At least not without an apology.)

9)  You may know another guy who is having a tough Father’s Day…maybe because of a divorce himself, or some other reason.  You may want to find a way to include him in your plans and make a difference for HIM, too.  

10)  The Bible honors godly fathers, from Abraham to Job and beyond.  Set a godly example for Father’s Day, make sure you spend part of it with the kids in worship…being an example of faith is the greatest thing a Father can do.

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