This whole discussion began with the question, what is the difference between intimacy and sex? The psychology of men is that unless they don't make their partner happy or satisfied in bed, they remain frustrated. Mostly normal men are capable of satisfying their women in bed, but make certain mistakes due to many reasons, like, lack of confidence, lack of experience, anxiety, depression, financial reasons and above all is the sense of competition. This sense of competition may sound normal to women but it has rather a great impact on sex lives of any couple. Now, lets take a situation where a woman is more experienced than his new boyfriend. For instance they are on a date in a car before going intimate and man happens to be a fast driver. Once they are frank enough she keeps on telling him "Lets see how fast you are in bed". Apparently this is not a big deal and the guy may not be a virgin but a thousand things come to his mind before going to sleep with her. Like what if I am not up to her standards? What if I am unable to satisfy her in bed or what if she thinks her ex was better than me? These are several thoughts which can pollute any mind and definitely they have adverse affects on male performance in bed.
Although both males and females commit mistakes while making love but here I am targeting men. So, I am rendering free advice for male readers that maybe gift for your partner - or maybe it is a gift to you both.
Read: [ Top 10 Lovemaking Tips for Men ]
Most guys make mistakes in bed while making love, which can hurt a relationship or at least spoil their night. The most common challenge they face when they are with their partners is not a technique or how, but their own assumptions and misconceptions about making lov e from a woman's point of view. In short they start putting themselves in woman's place to make assumptions which is wrong. Here are a few blunders to avoid being intimate and having sex with your wife or girlfriend:
Thinking Her like a Porn Star
In pornographic content mostly women are shown as objects of pleasure and unfortunately guys from their adolescence start making their concept of sex by watching them. Guys! you must keep in mind porn is only a fantasy World and fantasies seldom come true. Once you go in bed with your girl, forget about porn and never take her as a porn star. She is not an object of your pleasure only instead you have to satisfy her needs too if you want a long term relationship to continue. Here it doesn't matter that your relationship with the girl is of one night stand, two nights stand, no strings attached or permanent. In all these cases, thumb rule to remember is that, give her pleasure to get pleasure.
A common mistake made by men is pushing woman for all kinds of sex positions. They are not like guys who have seen or witnessed all types of sex position. If a woman is not familiar with a sexual position, or even if she is, but she maybe afraid to perform especially in early days of your relationship. In such case you don't need to force her rather cuddling and making her follow maybe more fruitful. Women need time, and if you want to make love to your partner then the question to wait as long as it takes. With time you can make her lust for you instead of spoiling things in hurry. Most guys see these women who need more time, and want everything to be just before making love, as funny creatures which is wrong. Women need to be comfortable with any sexual position that you propose to practice. Work on this with ease and half the battle is won. Making a women comfortable means two things, i.e, she needs to be physically as well as emotionally comfortable. Relax and tell her about the sex position that you have in mind and what it involves. Take a good time to do so this petting. Another method is to whisper your planned position step by step in her ears to ease her according to your desires. To do this, and there is every chance she will allow you for further advances you have in mind.
Stick to the Same Old Routine
If you've been with the same partner for a while, you probably know the exact movements that are necessary to give pleasure to your partner. But sex can be as boring as watching reruns if you never change. So keep on bringing something to spice up your sex lives.
Read: Top 10 things Women Hate about Men
Not Giving Women More Massages
Give a massage maybe the most fun thing you didn't even expect. Get a fancy lubricant and candles to make things soothing for her and even yourself. During massages, keep on touching your partner a sensual way, close to her privates but don't touch her right on the spot, let the fire ignite in her and she is going to give you time of your life. Massages are real turn on for most of women, the only thing is that you should know how to ignite her desires accurately. You don't need to be a professional masseuse for pleasuring her but all you need is a good technique as a normal human being. Keep thinking about next advances while giving her massage and you will yourself come to know what to do next. Don't ask her to be completely nude during this massage otherwise your attention will be diverted. Keep something to imagination while doing massage to ignite your own passion and it definitely works like a charm.
Communicating your preferences is important, so go with the flow and do what feels good. It is therefore a common mistake made by men in bed to bark orders and order your wife to do what you love. [Read: Clear Signs She Wants to Sleep with You]The act is supposed to be free and fun and not stressful and unpleasant. It would be better to try the whisper technique as told earlier to communicate your desires instead of ordering her what to do. You can also make use of eyes to make her react and this approach will give you better results.
Sleeping Just After Love Making
It is a very common phenomenon in most of men that they tend to sleep just after a love making session. But for most women it's considered as one of worst mistake a man can do bed. It will be much appreciated by her if you could spend at least half an hour cuddling and talk to her before you sleep and if you can stay awake until she sleeps all, she would never accuse you of always sleep shortly after. Women take love seriously, and despite feeling desire to sleep just after session, men should try to remain awake as long as possible otherwise women think themselves as objects of pleasure which was used.
Rushing Towards the End
Men can sometimes hold when they are having dinner with their spouses or in the car going home, but when he is in bed, some tend to be unusual in a hurry which is a serious mistake. Women warmup at a slower pace, it is important for men to move and work with a slow pace to allow sufficient time for the excitement of woman. This would make her hot and want him more, an experience that you won't forget. Sometimes, however, some women will warm faster and men could do well to adjust but still should not over speed. There are various techniques for delaying your orgasm and slowing down speed while making love is one of them.
Thinking Once is Enough for Her
She just had a wonderful and earth shattering orgasm, so she is perfectly happy, right? False. Many women are not nearly as quick to get out of their state revved up than men. Even if you're happy, do not consider she is also satisfied like you and never think she is over satisfied. There are many other ways to please her, even if you cannot go for second round. Make use of your hands and fingers. Give her an overdose till the time she doesn't ask you to stop.
Asking too Many Questions
There are some men who have the habit of asking their partner time and again questions like, "are you satisfied"? No, you don't have to ask her repeatedly as this is one of a serious mistake in bed while making love with your partner. Because out of her shyness or maybe frustration she may say yes to get rid of the situation while actually she wants more. Don't put herself in such a situation from which she want to slip out quickly.