Step off, Underdog. You’re so 2011.
2012 belongs to Underpuppy.
At least according to her Mother, that is.
For all of you still trying to work through your Toddlers & Tiaras withdrawals, you’re about to get a sizable chunk of glitter spit back onto your television screen this Spring with the premiere of Eden’s World.
(I’ll wait while you pick yourself up off the floor…)
That’s right. The country’s youngest retiree is coming out of her self imposed Full Glitz Pageant Exile to star in her own reality show, where she (and her sidekick Mom) will take over New York City like a tiny, sparkly King Kong all while letting young wannabes in on whatever the press release considers to be her “super secrets” to pageant success.
All on LogoTV.
Yeah. That LogoTV.
Single handedly Eden has the potential to shove an entire ground-breaking network back into the closet. Granted, her outfits and attitude are straight out of RuPauls’ Drag Race, and I’m sure she can throw down as well as any of the A-List BoyBitches…but LogoTV?
I guess Cartoon Network didn’t have enough colors in their arsenal for a show about a girl raised on pixie stix and aerosol.
And then there’s…umm…this.
(Please standby while I pick myself up off the floor…)
The dealio is…awhile back Eden and her MomHandler got some attitude and a sideways glance from Sharon Osbourne during a guest appearance on The Talk. I guess Ozzie’s wife was a little skeptical about the whole pageant retiree/child exploitation/world domination thing, and with the help of their agent, Mom retaliated by writing this musical masterpiece.
Aside from a snarky dig at Sharon, we also get to witness a 7 year-old using the word hypocrisy (…she’s a Beauty Queen and a Spelling Bee Champ, apparently…) and a Madonna meets Jerseylicious outfit.
But hands down, the best part of the video has to be the little boy in the mosh pit/flash mob thing scenes, who is just standing around like he’s at the wrong school bus stop.
The last glimpse we see of the kid makes it appear that he may have fallen off the stage at some point and had to crawl back up.
I’ll deny it in court, but my DVR is already set. Thanks for asking.
Enjoy. And sparkle, baby.
