Uh oh.
You might want to unplug those hot rollers and get that spray tan machine off the kitchen table, people. Maybe even try to start coming down from the pixie stix high you’ve been trippin’ on for six seasons, because it’s not looking good for everyone’s favorite unspoken guilty pleasure.
Everyone is talking about it, but nobody knows what’s going on.
Kinda like the “Who Shot JR?” of 2013. But not really.
Toddlers & Tiaras is MIA. And no one at TLC or the Ramada front desk is talking.
The show that made finger kissing cool again has been cancelled. Or maybe not.
But probably.
No one is saying. And I’m not liking it. I even had to read a book on Wednesday night.
Well, ok. I bought one anyway. And I may even read it someday after I work through my Toddler withdrawals. We’ll see. Baby steps.
Little tiny pretty feet baby steps.
But for now, take strength in knowing that I would never leave you hanging cold turkey.
If the sparkle has really gone out of our Wednesday nights, the least I can do is toss you a bone or two while we figure out how to reprogram our DVRs.
So jump in the Toddler Time Machine with me and bloop back to some of our favorite moments. The ones that would have made amazing water cooler conversations on Thursday morning if anyone else in the office actually admitted to watching the show.
Like Makenzie Myers. The Ultimate Grand Supreme Meltdown Queen. ReMixed.
Or the Ultimate Grand Supreme Breakout Star of the entire half dozen seasons.
Honey Boo Boo Child.
Tanked up on sass and Go-Go Juice, Alana Thompson holla’d her way to a dolla and into our hearts as soon as she hit the screen. Accompanied by her substantially beautimous Mama June and a house full of Brawny paper towels, they got all up in our faces so fast we didn’t have any choice but to redneckognize their awesomeness.
They loved pageants and roadkill and gave us a whole new type of Krazy.
Honey Boo Boo Style.
Hopefully these cheap seat repeats will bring back a few fond memories. Maybe even some of the memories that you thought were finally suppressed. Who knows.
And if you’ve never had the pleasure…it’s all new to you, right? You have no idea I’m just spitting out old stuff and then going to bed.
As we try and work through our separation anxiety issues, I think it’s important to remember all the baby breakdowns and mama meltdowns that made us smile and scratch our heads and almost choke on our ill-fitting flippers over the years.
So enjoy.
And Sparkle, Baby.
At least a few more times, anyway.
