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Today’s Secret Word In Toronto Is Definitely Maybe “Probably”

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

CBC reports that Rob Ford, the Mayor of Toronto, has admitted to smoking crack cocaine.

According to the article, the Mayor said this today:

“But, no — do I? Am I an addict, no? Have I tried it? Um, probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.”

3 Questions That Arise From This Story

1. Is this Pee Wee’s Playhouse, and is today’s secret word “probably?” If so, all the furniture with faces screaming may be real, and not the result of hallucinations from crack cocaine.

2. Just how long is “probably approximately about a year ago?” Torontonians deserve the truth! Was this or was this not more than possibly potentially some time not beyond a reasonable doubt before this interview but possibly in the time machine set to the end of 2016 about 365 days ago?

3. Is there some new North American political requirement of ultra-vagueness? We’re just wondering after we wrote about a news report that indicated six people may or may not have successfully enrolled in Obamacare on the first morning it was available. Answer: definitely maybe?


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