Today I broke.
I have a vague memory from when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. I was at school and didn't feel very well. I asked my teacher if I could go to the office and call my mom. Before I got to the office, I remember feeling like I had done a good job keeping it together. I had been at school for a few hours, but I knew that I was at the end of the rope and felt like I was going to throw up. The only person who could help me was my mom. She needed to come and get me. I made my way to the office and I picked up the phone and as soon as I heard my moms voice, I started to cry uncontrollably. I broke as soon as I heard her voice and saw the light at the end of my tunnel. At that point, I knew she would come get me and I was going to be taken care of.Today I feel the same. This past 2 weeks has been so mentally challenging. The stress of my grandpa being really sick, trying to get the Sandy house fixed up ready to sell, work, and just life broke me. My parents were out of town last week and I was trying to keep them in touch with what was going on with my grandpa. We received more bad news and I had to break it to them, while they were on a vacation. On Saturday, we spent 13 hours outside working our tails off trying to get the outside of the Sandy House done so we could move inside to start working on hopefully get the house on the market before our road trip on May 9th. Which we haven't even planned anything for other then buying a plane ticket to SF.
My parents are finally back in town and yesterday my mom and I had a long conversation about everything going on while I was driving home from work. I got home and started to feel sick. My head hurt, my brain is exhausted and my stomach was flipping around and around. I sat in the shower for hours and just let my emotions steam out of my body. As soon as I got out of the shower all my symptoms rushed back. I laid down physically and mentally ill. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I woke up every other hour clenching my stomach. If it's possible to OD on Pepto Bismal, I may have.
This morning, I woke up and started to get ready while Jared was in the shower. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, my arms hurt, my entire body aches from my brain to my toes. Jared got out of the shower and I was sitting on the bathroom floor. He put his arms around me and I bawled and I bawled. I couldn't explain what is wrong. I don't know if I'm sick and that's making me mentally exhausted or if I'm so mentally exhausted than I'm making myself sick.
