While this is a topic you won't often find me talking about, it's a topic that cannot be ignored in the world of 20somethings: sex.Regardless of the statistics about how often men and women think about sex, the point is that we all think about it. Women think about the who, what, when, where and why when it comes to having and not having sex; men might think about all of those factors too, but I've learned that they mostly think about the "when" factor more than anything else with sex.
I think there is a small group of women who can have sex without forming any emotional ties. That being said, many, many women do get emotionally involved afterward. Issues arise when these emotional attachments are formed, but not reciprocated by the man. And in some cases, things go wrong quicker when you more quicker.
You could ask 100 different people what their thoughts are on sex and timing, and you will get 100 different answers. Some say you need to wait. Some say there's no need to wait. Some say you can only regret not sleeping with someone, while others feel regret after commitment-less sex
Samantha Jones of Sex and the City once said on the show: "A guy can just as easily dump you if you f*** him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth." He can also just as easily dump you for not sleeping with him. Sex does not mean committment.
Sometimes it seems as though it would just be easier if sex could be taken off the table while dating. No pressure to have or not have sex, just get to know each other until the time may be right.
In terms of the right person or time to have sex, I don't have an answer for you. I also don't have an answer as to how long you should wait to do it either. I think those are questions you have to figure out yourself and what works best for you. That can vary from relationship to relationship.
But I honestly believe that if you're seeing someone you're interested in having more than just sex with, waiting to have sex can't hurt. It gives you both more time to get to know each other, become comfortable with each other and decide if you really want to be with each other. Waiting can give you two time to learn how to communicate with each other. And waiting can solidify how he feels about you. Sometimes sex can cloud all of those thoughts.
I think there are many more instances of regretting sex when it happens too soon opposed to regretting waiting too long.
xoxo Nickie
