Hello Saturday!
Let’s take a look back at what was notable in news, internet, and other shenanigans for the week of:
May 17th – May 23rd 2015
This Is One Way To Make Baseball More Interesting
Hey People! Cameras are everywhere!
Everywhere!
When are you going to realize this?
Now we know Baseball is boring…we get it.
*singing* Take me out to the ball game, take me to dinner instead…
We know that boobs are better than baseball…hell…boobs are better than everything…but 30,000 people don’t want to watch you grope your girlfriend on TV.
Only about 5,000 people want to watch…so grope your girlfriend at a soccer match instead.
Warning: Baseball being played
Warning: Unflattering Dress
David Letterman Kicks The Bucket
David Letterman is calling it quits after 400 years of hosting his late night talk show.
He was a pioneer in proving that cranky people can be funny too.
Warning: Bill Murry Is Awesome
Warning: Tear Jerky Talk Show Goodbyes And A Disinterested Letterman Jr.
Hong Kong Plays: Guess The Litterbug
Hong Kong has decided that it has had enough with the litter on it’s city’s streets. So, in an effort to cleanup, scientists are collecting random garbage samples from the ground and testing the DNA left on them. From that they are then reconstructing the faces of the people who littered.
After all of that, they post that person’s face all over the city…minus the hair…thousands of Chinese litterbug faces without hair…
The women look like they belong in a Star Trek movie.
Warning: Used Condom In A Pill Bottle
Feminists Get Off The Throne
Credit: Artsbeat.com
Spoiler Alert:
It has been a week. If you haven’t watched it by now, then it’s your own damn fault.
Many feminist critics are coming out against last Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones. In it the character of Ramsay Bolton rapes his new wife, the character of Sansa Stark, while Theon watches…who is also just a character. The scene was implied and depicted off camera in sounds and on Theon’s crying, shocked face.
United States Senator Claire McCaskill, Democrat of Missouri, tweeted on Tuesday that she was “done” with the show. We are guessing the previous four seasons of orgies, prostitutes, gay sex, and violence were OK up until now.
Rumors that for next season the cast will be replaced with the Teletubbies to help bring back some of the audience it is losing.
Delta Finds A Double Rainbow
When it comes to airplane safety instructions, most people are like…yeah, yeah, yeah…whatever…plane goes down…the seat is a flotation device…we are all going to die anyway! Who cares?!
Delta has long been trying to get you to pay attention to it’s safety videos because the one time you don’t, your plane is going to nose dive into the ocean, and your not going to know what to do. You were too busy looking at the SkyMall catalog. The civil war chess set you are about to purchase is not going to do you any good if you sink to the bottom of the ocean. It can not be used as a flotation device.
Delta is bound and determined to grab your attention in it’s newest safety video by featuring your favorite YouTube stars.
Stars like: Angry Orange, Overly Attached Girlfriend, Screaming Goat, and more.
We don’t want to give them all away, so watch the video:
Warning: YouTube Celebrities
And The Oscar Goes Too…
Baltimore is just full of injustice.
Sometimes though, when there is not enough injustice going on…you have to fake the injustice.
Question: But when is the proper time to fake injustice?
The answer: Whenever you notice the camera rolling.
Warning: Really Bad Acting
News From The Office
Rants licks his keyboard.
Geisha licks her Tinder App.
Adam licks his elbow.
Jack licks a twinkie.
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