Hug yourself this Valentine's DayThe other day, I was listening to Pink's new song "F-ing Perfect," and something about the lyrics really resonated with me. Basically, she sings: don't ever feel less than perfect; when you feel like nothing, you're perfect to me; you're mean when you talk to yourself, and you need to be nicer to yourself.
What this song really got me thinking about is how hard we are on ourselves. Sure, others' judgements can be tough and harsh, but some of the hardest judgments to deal with are our own. Many times we don't verbalize them, but I think most (especially for women) insecurities come from our own opinions of ourselves.
I hate my nose. I'm fat. That was a really stupid thing to do/say. I'm probably going to f that up. My life is a joke. I'm never going anywhere. I'm such a loser.
Those are just some of the mean things we say to ourselves on a regular basis. The more we say these things to ourselves, the more we believe them and, subsequently, obsess over them. What is even worse than saying these sorts of things to ourselves, is how hard it is to stop.
We live in a society where the most perfect, intelligent and beautiful are praised, put on a pedastal and make millions of dollars (unless you watch the Jersey Shore), so it's extremely difficult to not compare ourselves to those people. We also live in a time where plastic surgeons get paid to circle and mark every "imperfection" on our bodies and then suck it or chop it off to be "perfect."
We are inundated with those messages on a daily basis, so it's no wonder we beat ourselves up for not being "perfect."
I know I am my toughest critic, I always have been. I'm a perfectionist in all aspects of my life, so it's been hard for me to accept anything less than perfect in myself.
I can't remember who it was, but someone once said about beating yourself up for not being perfect "You would never say those things to your daughter. You would never want her to think those things about herself."
And though I don't have a daughter, I would never want her to say things to herself the way I do. In fact, I would never want my youngest sister to either, and it pains me when she is upset about something she doesn't like about herself.
Though it's difficult, I think we all really do need to start being nice to ourselves. We need to start positively affirming ourselves until we truly realize that we are perfect. We need to take more notice of the positive and beautiful things about ourselves and truly learn to appreciate those things. It's going to take some work, but I think it's something all of us should invest some time into.
In honor of Valentine's Day, let's all be our own best valentine and show love and appreciation for ourselves.