The World Cup Is Here!
Brazil is hosting the tournament.
Prince Charles provides his rounded view of the 32 Nations taking part. Here is his take on the Groups C and D.
Colombia – Every crack dealers second team. Likely to sniff victory at the earliest opportunity. Will hug the lines.
Greece – So broke the team had to walk to Brazil. Dearest Father cheers them on. We have to hide the crockery.
Ivory Coast – Big lads to a man – lightweights. Should have been our colony. Frogs got there first.
Japan - Whale butchers and giant lizard fantasists – who WE BEAT IN THE WAR! – You can stick your Honda Civic up yer arse!
ENGLAND – Inventors of football, railway timetables, parliamentary democracy, the concentration camp, trapped wind, eyelash curlers and the long sock – if there’s an Eden it is England. Bloody foreigners. Which one of you fuckers wants some then?
Italy – A car back fires and Rome surrenders – lily livered Latin loverboys who will cheat and bribe their way to victory over our brave lads unsullied as we are by the desire or skill to win at football.
Uruguay – Morose bandy legged corned beef hawkers - two words to say to them Graf Spee and the Battle of River Plate!
Costa Rica – Titchy Central American nation perched on an Isthmus which sounds like someone with a lisp saying Christmas. They don’t have an Army. INVADE! Bring back the Empire!