I was debating whether I was going to write something about turtles, which is rather difficult, or dove chocolate. I decided on neither. I figured it would be more interesting to pay tribute to a legendary burger back home. The Turtlezilla at the Naked Turtle in Plattsburgh, NY..
The small bar on the front deck
The restaurant/bar is like Jimmy Buffet meets the Adirondacks. There are brightly colored tablecloths that kinda look like Hawaiian shirts. Wood frames the large mirror behind the main bar, which takes up the whole wall on the right side as you enter. There are "naked turtles" painted on the walls on the inside.Along with their motto "A shady place for shady people". There's a sign above the bar that is painted in white paint on a piece of flat driftwood. that says "Frankly Scallop I don't give a damn". There are some small, light colored branches or trees resting on top of the rafters inside, gives it kinda a tropical look. If I remember correctly, they have a sail hanging from the ceiling and there is a fireplace. At one time they actually had underwear hanging from the ceiling. I can't remember anything else about the decor. Trust me, there's more. It's a really fun place to be at.
The View from the beach at the Naked Turtle. Not too far from the back deck
It's the place to see and be seen in Plattsburgh during the summer. It's only open from late spring until late summer. It's on beautiful Lake Champlain right at the Plattsburgh boat basin aka Plattsburgh Marina. My mother calls it a "Meat market" but I don't care, it's my favorite place to be in the summer when I'm up visiting family in the area. There is a covered deck with a small square bar in the front and a uncovered deck in the back. I love to sit on the back deck for the sun and the view of the boats and the lake.
So you probably want to hear about the Turtlezilla.. Well, It's 32oz, yes you read that right, 32oz burger. You have 45 minutes to eat it and if you succeed you get a t-shirt and your picture on the wall. The picture wall is in the game room on the way to the bathroom. My husband attempted it a few years ago. He's a big eater. He ate more than I did at 385 and he's 5'7" and only has a gut. Damn him and his metabolism. Hahaha. Anyway, he couldn't finish it. They even gave him an extra 15 minutes. Nada. Oh and the burger and the bun are about the size of a regular dinner plate.
Before my husband started the Turtlezilla Challenge
The challenge consists of eating everything on the plate. pickles, fries, bun (which is about two inches thick at its highest point), tomatoes and lettuce. Getting cheese on it is also an option. I can feel my arteries clog as I write this!
After my husband gave up on the Turtlezilla challenge about one hour later
So, let's look at the nutritional values of the Turtlezilla.
The burger alone is 1888 calories, 117.3 grams of fat. The good news it has 192 grams of protein and 0 carbs.
I get 43 points a day. I could eat just the burger with the help of weekly points. The veggies would be zero of course, so no problem there. Don't even want to think about the fries and the humongous bun. I'm sure I would not be on the wall and get a t-shirt.
After doing some research I found out that they have now divided the turtlezilla into three burgers. Well, that's no fun! Nonetheless, you won't be seeing me eating it any time soon.
Naked Turtle official website is here They actually do have a menu on their site.
