***
No, you certainly won’t. You certainly won’t find any of these things in my novel, counting down from number 10 to number one. Here you go…
10. Postapocalyptic survival fights (Who would dare now?)
9. Controversial issues (Jodi Picoult corners the fiction market with these topics.)
8. Good and bad witches (I’m obsessed, but the best have already tackled them.)
7. Anything about a Diet (I’m Italian and like to eat…and my characters do eat).
6. Anthropomorphism of any kind…no talking rabbits, pigs, spiders, bears, or any other animal to which you’d give feelings and emotions (Though I did kill a rather large spider on my driveway over the weekend, and I did feel sort of guilty about it.)
5. Serial Killers (I leave these to my friend Tim Miller.)
4. Fairies (You can’t beat Disney where these are concerned.)
3. S&M and Bondage (I know it’s trending, but my mom and dad do read what I write. Talk about interesting dinner conversation…)
2. Wizards (Absolutely not. Who would dare to go there now?)
1. Vampires (Are they passé yet?)
No, you won’t find any of that stuff in my novel.
Which is why it’s perfect for your mother.
Your mother will like it.
Lots of mothers do.
Plus, if you know me, and you don’t give a copy to your mother, you won’t want your mother to ask you why she didn’t get a copy of your friend’s book for Mother’s Day. Better to avoid the trouble now. Buy it today.
If I haven’t convinced you yet, there are 8 reasons why your mother will like it, and those 8 are because the story includes the following:
1. A love story
2. Friction between families (Who hasn’t encountered this at some point in their lives?)
3. Delicious Italian food scattered throughout. (You will crave a cannoli.)
4. A bad ex-boyfriend (Totally relatable for many of us).
5. A savvy grandmother.
6. Annapolis as the backdrop, along with London and New York.
7. Relatively little bad language (Only dropped a few in for character effect).
8. An ending (It’s usually imperative that there’s an ending, as this is usually helpful to a story; however, I won’t say if the end of mine is happy or sad, but I’ll hint at the fact that I’m a hopeless romantic so you may deduce its outcome. (And don’t be like Harry in “When Harry Met Sally” and read the last line of the book, just in case you might die and would want to know how the book ends.)
So, there you have it.
If Hallmark can say “Happy Mother’s Day” with a card, you can say “Happy Mother’s Day” with a book…a book devoid of vampire-sucking neighbors of wizards whose best friends are dominant talking rabbits that are into S&M.
Then again, I don’t know…that storyline just might work.
