The Talking Frog: Appreciate What We Have Or Risk It All?

Allow me to share with you a simple story. An old man is fishing on a lake when suddenly a little green frog jumps out of the water and into his wooden boat. The old man looks down at the frog which looks back up at him, and much to the old man’s surprise the frog begins to talk. “If you give me a kiss I’ll turn into a beautiful woman and I will fulfill your every desire.” The old man gazes upward and ponders the proposition for a moment before replying. “You know, I think I’d rather have a talking frog,” he says and puts the little frog in his top pocket and continues fishing.

I love the singing frog!

This story has two messages. The first point is on risking what you already have for some potential gain. And the second is about tempering passion and desire, rather than being controlled by them.

Risky Business

I am not risk averse, I understand that risks are an unavoidable part of life and also that risk is often a necessary component in business, relationships, finance and so on. However we would hope that any risk is given due consideration, and only acted upon once all the available information has been accounted for. One example of a bad risk would be gambling. Now the odd bet or casino visit isn’t going to kill you, however we know that gambling is a business that is based on

I’m in a Warner Bros mood today

the concept that, overall, the punter loses more than he or she wins. Or what about in the case of a relationship. Perhaps you have a partner who you get on with pretty well, but the opportunity arises to leave that relationship and run off with someone younger, richer, and better looking. On the one hand you are content with what you have, however you could risk it all for a shot at something “better”. But what, pray tell, is better than contentment?

Dangerous Desire

A while back I wrote a post called You Do Not Need To Fulfill Your Desires, Your Desires Must Fulfill You! And today’s post revisits the idea. The wise old fisherman understands that even if he’d quite enjoy indulging in carnal pleasures with a beautiful young woman, it would be up to him to choose that, and he by no means needs to do it. He is content simply to have the desire, he does not need to fulfill it.

Can you imagine having that level of self discipline? Perhaps with some things you can hold back, while with others you are quite hopeless. What if you could move the self discipline you experience in one aspect of your life, over to others that are much less under control.

Brag, Brag, Brag

I’m going to sound like a bragging jerk here but it’s the perfect example so please excuse me

I have been propositioned by some very attractive people. When I was younger I would never think twice about spending some “quality time” with a good looking individual. I loved the ego boost and the experience. These days however, I am much more discerning. I am so much more conscious of my energies, my time, my work, my peace and my personality. And I’ve learned to detect a drama storm from a mile away. Some very beautiful, clever, cool and intelligent people may wish to enter our lives and become a part of it, however these qualities alone do not gain them automatic access!

Thanks, but I think I’d prefer to have a talking frog

During my mid and late twenties I have turned down intimacy with a number of people that I would have jumped at the chance to be with in my teens and early twenties. I turned them down because of the “talking frog” principle. I knew I had peace, contentment, satisfaction and safety already. Although this person (either explicitly or implicitly) made it known that they could “fulfill all my desires” I had no guarantee of that, nor did I require for my desires to be fulfilled, and so I politely declined the offer. These are people who I sensed may be prone to drama, to games, to emotional instability or other erratic, unpredictable behavior. I don’t say no to everyone, I’ll take a risk on someone who appears basically centered, who likes themselves and who doesn’t like drama.

At other times I’ve been in a monogamous relationship and I’ve turned down advances as I don’t like to engage in secret acts of infidelity.

The Choice is Enough

My point here, whether it is in regard to people like potential friends or sexual partners, or whether it is to do with a business idea or any other risky venture, is that your choice is all that matters. Not what actually happens. I have no regrets, I am grateful for every opportunity that has been presented to me, and I am satisfied that on each occasion I used my judgment, along with the information available to me at the time, to make the best call I could. And like the fisherman, now that I’m a little older and a little wiser, I tend to err on the side of caution. I am not greedy. I understand that a “bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. It is very hard to convince a contented person of anything, to get them to budge, or to risk what they already have on some potentially disruptive fancy.

So they key to measured decision making and risk taking then is to be contented. As Socrates said “He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.”

And so I guess the big question then is “how does one become contented?” Well with me it was a combination of Stoic Philosophy, Focusing, Embodiment and Affirmations. And yet there’s always room to grow, develop and get better

So the next time you are offered some opportunity be it a romantic partner, a business proposition, a social engagement or some “life changing” product being peddled by a well paid marketer remember the old man and the talking frog. If it feels a little iffy don’t be afraid to say “You know what? I think I’d rather keep my talking frog”. In other words; I’d rather stick to what’s working well for me, thanks for the offer though!

Thanks for reading, all the best

Rohan.

Rohan Healy is the author of “Greeks to Geeks: Practical Stoicism in the 21st Century”, “The 7 Things That Made Me Genuinely & Irreversibly Happy: And How They Can Do The Same For You”, “SEX, Not as a Separate Subject: A Guide to Great Sex with Great People” and Sci Fi Action/Adventure novel Gyaros: The Mice Eat Iron!

Click the book titles to visit their Amazon pages, read the reviews, and sample or purchase the books.