There is an intense struggle happening within the Business Gypsy. I feel as though I am going through life with direction and purpose but as I age, things start to get a little confusing. I feel as though I am torn between two worlds. The first world is pulling me towards the so-called ‘American Dream‘ which includes the car, the clothes, the house. The world of Philanthropy, helping others, and sacrificing my time and energy for the greater good is pulling me to the other side. It is an intense fight and I am not sure if the path I am destined to take will come out on top…which ever one that may be.
I was a lucky girl growing up. I had a wonderful house with my parents and 2 siblings and I had everything a little girl could want. I grew up around a successful family business and learned the ways of business at a young age. I was bred to believe in the American Dream. When I was old enough to work, which is 15 years old in Delaware, I started a job, thinking to myself that one day I would be able to have an awesome career, doing something I love and I would make enough money to have what I wanted and needed someday. I continued to grow in the environment of materialism. Always thinking about working, to buy stuff, to obtain the car, to get the house, and all of the perks that come with it. I have always wanted to be like my parents, who have the cars and the house and the trips and the expensive dinners. It just seemed so glamorous. All that glitters isn’t gold, though.
When I turned 19, I had an identity crisis. I was brought up in a world where I had everything I wanted and the means and opportunity to go to college. I attended my first semester at University of Delaware and ran into major problems. I was lost in a sea of people and students, and was placed in classes way above my ability. I dropped out first semester. I then attended a community college and was immediately bored. They treated you like you were an idiot and I stopped going to classes. I got straight A’s in my Math class without even going…but I got a C- for not attending the class. I dropped out a year later. I felt that I did not have a place in society. I was a college drop-out, twice over, with no direction in life. How was I going to obtain the deeply engrained American Dream without a college degree or without a sense of direction?
Years later, after going through hell and back, including putting myself into AA for a year, putting myself through a community college for Certified Nursing Assistants, and obtaining a good job, I was on back on track. I was on the path towards obtaining the American Dream, once again. Everything was going perfectly for a couple of years, but then a persistent little voice in the back of my head finally got my full attention. The little voice kept saying “You are supposed to do something great.” or “You are meant to help many people.” The little voice got louder and stronger and it finally won me over. I quit my 9-5 job and decided to take my life into my own hands regarding love, living conditions, work, life and helping people. This is where this blog came from.
I still struggle on a daily basis with the two worlds. On one hand…I want the house, so I can have a family with my loved one. I want to have the dogs and the cars and the big, expensive social wedding. On the other hand, I want to give it all up for a VW Van and a laptop, drive around and help as many people as I can, in any way that I can. Who is to say what your American Dream should be?
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