The Scale

I got the scale out today and decided to step on it - I lost a decent amount,(are you dieing to know?) but I found myself  hoping it could be a Biggest Loser style experience where I was down 50lbs. in 3 weeks.  I know that is NOT healthy, and I know that I am doing this to find health, but I too, want that scale to tell me things I long to hear...  Even when I lose weight - I experience disappointment that it's not more.  Which is why I am seriously considering burying that scale for a good amount of time(6 months?)  What do I need to know that number for?
My goal is to find health by eating better, and moving more.  I also want to make peace with my body, and start doing the things that I put off until I am a certain size...  I went shopping today(the scale and shopping for clothes in one day - what a glutton!) and I was reminded by the gal working(about my size) how sad it is when someone can't see their beauty.  She looked fabulous to me, yet all she talked about was how she can't do this, and can't do that until she loses weight.  She was amazed I did yoga in public, she said she refused to do it outside of her house until she loses a couple of sizes... it broke my heart.  Do I feel self-conscious doing things at times, hell yes!  But I cannot let my fear of how others view me dictate my life, I WILL not!
It is a battle to push myself to do things, and I will continue to nudge myself in the direction of living life - not waiting for my body to match my insides...  What are you putting off until you lose weight?  What kinds of things do you deny yourself?  What ways do you punish yourself for not "measuring" up the way you think you should?  What would happen if you made a list of all the things you would do if you were satisfied with your body, and started checking them off, one at a time?  We can't wait for things to be perfect, because they never will be!  Life is short, stop waiting for a tomorrow that may never come.