Family Magazine

The Relationship That’s Better Than Sex

By Shaybanks @dnceluv

I love when I hear from women that the spark that they had with their partners is gone and they want to know how to get it back. Usually, a simple reframing of the relationship does the trick. Ya know, stop being the girlfriend and start being the girl he’s dating but hasn’t quite convinced that a serious relationship is in your best interest.  Stop being wifey and start being his girlfriend. Usually that does the trick and the passion returns almost overnight.

But there are some things that can’t revamp the passion that once was. You know that he-occupies-your-every-thought type passion. Don’t be sad about that, be happy. Because it means, you’ve grown…together.

The initial high of a new relationship makes us lose our damn minds. I personally have paid for a guy’s rent during the honeymoon phase. Once the newness fades and we start to see our partners as human beings and not as prince charming, we begin to think we’ve made a mistake (and with Mr. Paid-His Rent, it was a HUGE mistake!). Things we used to love about them drive us insane. We’re tired of hearing their corny jokes and the way they snore. Instead, we want that old heat, that old fire, back. Pronto.

It’s after the honeymoon phase that many couples break up (or divorce). It’s probably the worst thing that you can do. Why? Because when you leave because the thunder is “gone”, you’re missing the best rewards.

You’re missing out on intimacy. Intimacy is when you lay down your guard and you allow your partner to see you for who you are. It’s the part of you only your closest friends and family members have seen. It’s the part of you that you’re embarrassed by. It’s the part that you’re scared if shown, your partner will surely leave you.

Here’s the deal.

Your partner probably won’t leave you. (and if he does leave you after seeing you in all your authentic glory—he did you a favor) You know why? Because men are ready to be with real women.  Women who are feminine, confident, honest to a fault, passionate about something other than him, and is crazy in love with her flaws.

I’ve talked to numerous men recently who say they are tired of the fakeness and the women who put on airs. The women who are all looks and no substance.  They’re tired of having relationships based on superficiality. They want more. I am confident that if you are willing to go through the next phase after the honeymoon stage and let that feeling of “oh my God, this is it?!” surface, what you will find is a truly magical relationship. A relationship that will allow you to be who you are without fear that he will leave. That’s the holy grail, baby. That, in some ways, is better than sex.  

What do you think?


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