What's going on with the Republican party? Are its presidential contenders a fair sample of the whole? I'm afraid they are. If you're in quality control at the widget factory, and the first six you inspect are defective, you'd begin to suspect the entire consignment was effed, right?
It can't be that the able ones are sitting this one out on account of Obama's manifest invincibility. What you see is what the Republican party has become.
Let's go down the list. Huntsman appears connected to reality, which is probably why his candidacy has no pulse. The others are successively displacing one another as the punch line to jokes. Perry's recent moment--I mean 53 seconds--of brain-turdiness is emblematic of the modern Republican party. There are layers of absurdity. The president cannot abolish cabinet-level departments, as Perry seems to suppose. Maybe he can't remember the three he means to eliminate because it's just empty talk anyway. Details, details.
Bachmann would be better off if she also would forget everything she was about to say. Paul is like the crazy old uncle who blights your anticipation of Thanksgiving. (I hope he doesn't talk about politics again!) Santorum: where did he get the self-regard to run for president? the dutifully incessant praise of all his Sunday-school teachers? If you're curious about how Newt Gingrich got his reputation for great intellect, it's because of the company he keeps.
Who am I missing? Oh, yes, the front-runners! Herman Cain's standing in the polls suggests that Republicans are not thoroughgoing in their opposition to affirmative action. Interviewer: Do you have any fiscal recommendations for Europe? Cain: "No, I do not, honestly." Has he been more inept at rebutting criticism of his 9-9-9 tax plan or at remembering the details of some of his nights out? To be fair, his tax plan is indefensible.
Romney is just a shameless trimmer. If it weren't for ambition, there'd be nothing to hold his suits up. He's the one!
