Entertainment Magazine

The Other Me Is A Fashion Designer

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

When you are trying to take over the internet, it’s not narcissistic to use Google Alerts.

It’s not.

Ok, it is a little…but it’s a great tool to find out where you land in the search engines, if anyone is interested in the product you’re putting out, and helps to capture who your audience is outside of the WordPress community.

I use Google Alerts to track this nonsense, as well as (and more importantly) my sister project: Long Awkward Pause.

If you are not familiar with Google Alerts, it emails you when certain words that you ask it to track are typed into the Google search engine. The other day, this pops into my email:

googlealert

There are a couple of things that make this even more funny and coincidental then it already is…probably only to me…but I’m going to share anyway:

- There are a lot of people with the last name of DeVos, with the one ‘S’, not a lot with the two ‘SS’ ‘s, (that’s a lot of processor apostrophes) like mine. So the fact that there is another name exactly like mine is incredible. It would be like if there where two people named Hippo Bandersnatch in the world.

- If you go to Long Awkward Pause and look at the writers list, you will notice my brother, Jack, is also on the staff. If you really pay attention, you will notice he is billed as Jack DeVoss, while I’m billed as Christopher De Voss. (With a space between the De and the Voss) There is no space in Jack’s last name. That’s because he spells it correctly, and I do not. Why have I chosen to add a space? When I was younger, and trying to be a famous actor, I thought it looked cool. That’s all, just the coolness factor. (which there is none…(and I’m not famous, but kind of stuck with it now. (this is just to add another parenthese)))

- Target is my favorite store.

Now going back to the article that the Google Alert, altered me to; this I think, is supposed to be a picture of the Target fashion designers: Peter Pilotto and Christopher De Voss:

The article didn't credit who was who...

The article didn’t credit who is who…

One looks like a shorter version of the lead singer of Coldplay and the other looks like any lead German-born bad guy in an action movie such as Die Hard. (Die Hard 12, Die Hard With A Fashion!)

Here are some examples of their die hard fashion designs:

It all looks like something Sally would wear from Nightmare Before Christmas.

It all looks like something Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas would wear.

In case you are not familiar with the reference:

sally

Sally

I think if any of my friends would say that if I designed fashion for women, it would look something like this:

Not true!

Not true!

I would actually design something more in the lines of this:

Sofia-Vergara-Cleavage-At-CFDA-Fashion-Awards-Red-Carpet-PHOTOS1-550x482

Although, I would probably sneak something like this into my fashion line:

41gzjU4FzPL._SS500_

I will use this same name thing to try to score free clothes from Target:

“You don’t know who I am?! I designed this plaid button down shirt! I’m fashion designer, Christopher De Voss! Now put these clothes I have in my basket here on Target’s tab! I’m head to the food court!”

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Tags: 2013, blog, boob tag is for real this time, boobs, fashion, funny, google, google alerts, humor, humor, internet, target


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