Why do men and women view the art of romance differently much of the time? Maybe it’s all about emotional hardwiring.
When a woman watches a chick flick with her guy and the final credits roll, the guy might make a haughty comment like “That was really stupid” as tears or smiles flood the face of his favored female. Each seems to view the same movie differently, catching nothing the other sees so clearly.
Men seem geared to protecting the fairer sex and may show their love this way. Masculine protection usually doesn’t include buying trinkets or begging on bended knee. Instead, male romantic overtures may extend to making sure a lady love’s tires are well-pressured to keep her safe, or perhaps securing storm windows to keep her cozy when winter winds howl.
Most men would place far behind the Victorian poet Robert Browning when it comes to being romantic. They do try, but often don’t have a clue what makes their partner deliriously joyful. Many TV sitcoms feature storylines about buying a wife or girlfriend special gifts . . . usually with bad results.
Bodice-ripping novels add to the confusion. Men usually thrive on action adventures, while most women gravitate to love stories where the main man knows exactly what to do to make his women swoon. Of course, most romance novels are written by women so what would you expect?
To add to the dilemma, many women feel their partners “should just know” what they need and want to feel loved, especially in long-term relationships. Huh? Most men can’t remember what they had for breakfast, much less what it takes to elicit romantic rapture in their partner.
Maybe men are hardwired for practicality and are immune to romantic hints or veiled suggestions. Maybe they require concrete information to act, like saying “I want to have dinner with you at The Love Nest.” No question there.
What’s a female to do? Repeat the mantra, “It is what it is” over and over again. Try to figure out what your partner does for you that he seems most proud of doing. That action will usually be his shining moment aimed at pleasing you. Much like a cat brings a dead mouse to a doorstep as a treasured love offering, men can offer unusual tokens of love and romance.
An award-winning performance may be required to accept such tokens, but know they are given from your man’s heart and he genuinely wants to please you. So what if he gives you a vacuum cleaner? Just suck it up, so to speak, and realize he’s trying to make your life easier. If he gifts you with flannel jammies, he probably wants to keep you warm. Men think differently!
Once you accept John Gray’s thesis that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, you’ll be open to the romance surrounding you. It may not be what you expect, but bask in the love you are shown and celebrate it!
