. . . and this woman is a donkey:
She, is Ms. Alison Saunders who is, God help us all, our Director of Public Prosecutions. According to The Telegraph this particular donkey, trotting along obediently behind the massed ranks of the 'feminastis', is bent on bending the law to ensure that as many men as possible are convicted of rape irrespective of the lack of evidence that is usual in such cases:
Alison Saunders said rape victims should no longer be “blamed” by society if they are too drunk to consent to sex, or if they simply freeze and say nothing because they are terrified of their attacker.
Instead, police and prosecutors must now put a greater onus on rape suspects to demonstrate how the complainant had consented “with full capacity and freedom to do so”.
So, gentlemen, before going out on a date, ensure that you are armed with a breathalyser kit but beware a slap in the face when you ask your lady friend for a blow job! Explain to her that it is now necessary for you to prove that she is within the legal limits to partake of consensual sex, as well as being capable of driving herself home afterwards! Actually, Ms. Saunders does not appear to have provided a legal limit for drink/shag cases as is the case in drink/drive cases but still, it might come in useful if you find yourself up the Old Bailey!
Also, chaps, ensure that you have one of those little books with carbonated pages so that you can obtain your lady's signature confirming her sobriety, her complete abstinence from drugs and her wholehearted consent for you to shag the daylights out of her. This little book will require two copies, one for the lady and one for your best friend who, of course, will accompany you at all times to act as your witness. Finally, do not forget to use the 'shag-app' on your i-phone which will allow you to record the lady's verbal consent and your witness friend to confirm it.
After that you may proceed.
Waddya mean you don't feel like it any more? For goodness sake, man-up and do your duty. If you're feeling flaccid just imagine you're shagging Ms. Saunders, that should get you going - I'm not sure where but still . . .
