When we have a problem, we want a solution – When we tell your we’re faced with a problem, we want you to help us solve that problem. We’re not looking for sympathy or comforting. I mean, it’s great that you want to comfort us but it’s frustrating to hear “oh yes, I know, that will make me feel angry too” when what we’re looking for is “oh yah, here’s a cool way to solve that”.
When we’re feeling weak, we want comforting – When we’re sick or tired or just a little worn out from the gym, that’s when we want comforting. We don’t need or want you to mother us all the time, but it does feel awesome when you tell us to relax on the couch and get us a cold drink.
Sometimes, we want you to be romantic too – It’s not just men who are supposed to keep the romance alive in the relationship by bringing home flowers or a nice card. Women should do this too, although in different ways. We love a cool gadget that you think we’d like or our favorite candy bar. And no, booking us for a couple’s massage is not cool. That’s you forcing me to do something you want. Take the time and figure out what your man likes in a romantic gesture and then do that for him. It’s what we do for you all the time.
Love your body like we do, or at least let us love it for you – We love you, we adore you and we think you’re sexy. Please act like that every once in a while. I understand that magazines and Hollywood put a lot of pressure on you to achieve a look which is unhealthy and virtually impossible. However, that’s not us. We love your look. So would it hurt you to dress up once in a while for us? Would it hurt you to let us look at you without rushing to turn off the lights? If you keep telling us you’re fat, out of shape and unsexy, sooner or later, we’ll start believing you.
Consider your desired outcome when having an argument – Do you want to win the argument? If so, you’ve already lost. Unless your relationship is already in serious trouble, most men go into an argument trying to figure out how to end it and make you feel better. That’s actually a mistake since we focus on making you feel better instead of solving the problem. That’s our issue and we can work on it. At the same time, most women seem to go into an argument with the intent of winning it instead of solving the problem. That’s your issue and you should work on it. Crying and bringing up past problems are excellent ways to win an argument, but they’re also excellent ways to lose the love and respect of your man. Similarly, telling me “you’re sleeping alone tonight” does permanent and lasting damage to a relationship. It basically means “I don’t like sex with you but I do it because you love it. It’s a privilege to touch my body and I will only let you have it if you behave”. That’s bullshit. Sex is something both parties should enjoy or else you’re doing it wrong. It should never be used as a weapon because you’re destroying one of the foundation pieces of your relationship.
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Women are the most wonderful thing on this world. You have no idea how much we adore, admire, respect and love you. We’ve spent the last few decades trying to support, encourage and understand you. Perhaps it’s time for the pendulum to start swinging back towards the center
