Fenway 2008
You see. There's a picture on my desk at work. It's a picture of my husband and I at Fenway Park on our "Honeymoon/First Anniversary" trip in 2008. We couldn't afford a Honeymoon when we got married. Long story.Anyway...
It's the only picture on my desk. I am a temp and I don't want to go all crazy. I did that once and I regretted it later. Don't ask. Let's just say I walked in with about six things and walked out with four. So that was my favorite picture of myself and my husband. I considered upgrading it with a picture from 2009. That's a picture of my husband and I with Gord Downie, lead singer of The Tragically Hip, standing between us.
2009
I don't even want to use that picture either! I really dislike both of those pictures. So how did two of my favorite pictures of my husband and I become so disliked?
I can't stand to look at myself in them.
Yep. Yes, I'm beaming in both of them and so is my husband. The pictures incorporate three of my favorite things: My Husband, The Red Sox and The Tragically Hip. However, the pictures are reminders of my old habits. That woman in those pictures was very unhealthy and unhappy. I thought that since I met my husband my life has been great. However, there have been a few major changes in my life in the last two years that have made my life pretty much perfect, working a job in a great environment, becoming a Grandmother and the two most important ones, losing weight and joining Weight Watchers seven and half months ago.
So losing weight is giving me my life back. I had no idea my life was so miserable. I had forgotten how great life can be! Before starting to lose weight I was happy with being uncomfortably overweight. I wasn't taking care of myself when all of these years I thought I was looking out for my best interest. I was letting food and my bad health control my life.
When I was younger I had a bad relationship where I was abused. I broke it off with him and bought myself a solitare (fake) diamond ring. It was a promise to myself to be true to myself and not go back to him. I needed to take care of myself, because I wasn't. Staying with him certainly wasn't helping anything either. Well sadly enough, after all of these years, I slipped into that rut again. Don't get me wrong, my husband is the most wonderful man ever. He treats me like a Queen. However, I was abusing myself. I broke that promise I made to myself all those years ago.
So, tomorrow when I go to work I think I'm going to put that picture of my husband and I at Fenway in my drawer. It's just too painful to look at. I've come so far from those days. To think, my peak was 385 lbs. before I started to lose weight almost two years ago. Amazing what a difference almost two years can make. Yes, in the grand scheme of things two years is not that long. However, weight loss is pretty slow and to see such a difference in myself in such a "short" time is amazing.
October 30, 2011
I think I'll print the picture of my husband and I from Oct 30, 2011, the day I rode a roller coaster for the first time I six years! The picture was taken at the ride where I met my husband, the Bumper Cars and it was post-roller coaster ride. That day was wonderful. I felt freedom I hadn't felt in years! So happy my life has changed for the better. I'm so proud of myself for the first time in many years. I'd better keep it up or I'll have myself to answer to.
