Books Magazine

The 2nd Annual Literary Trick Or Treat!

By Robert Bruce @robertbruce76

It’s that time of year when I bow down to the blogging gods who tell me to create seasonally-themed blog content.

Last year, I was hesitant before finally caving to their demands. And, today, I return to the scene of the crime.

It’s the 2nd Annual Literary Trick or Treat!

Your least favorite seasonal blog post returns, badder and worser than ever! Below, I’ve given 10 fairly popular opinions about books, literature, writing, blogging and the like. Then I’ll tell you whether or not I think said opinion is good (treat!) or bad (trick!). It’s wonderfully clever, isn’t it?

So let’s begin:

1) Superhero stories are the best kind of stories.

Trick!

I used to mildly dislike superhero stories. Now I pretty much despise them. Probably because 50% of all movies made today are superhero movies. It’s insane. And the stories…they’re all the same. The last superhero movie I watched was The Avengers, and it was quite possibly the worst two hours I’ve spent since having my wisdom teeth pulled 20 years ago. How many aliens must come out of the sky in one 30-minute scene? The lone exception to this rule is the recent Batman movies–especially the first one. The second one was 45 minutes too long. After that, it only got worse.

2) Gone Girl was amazing.

Treat! (or maybe Trick!)

I never read the book, so I really can’t answer this question with certainty. I did see the movie, and I’m forever scarred. The only thing I’ll say is I’ll never look at Doogie Howser the same way again.

3) Morning people are more productive.

Trick!

Michael Hyatt recently tweeted this, causing me to get all worked up on this topic again. I love Michael Hyatt, and I’ve even guest posted on his blog, but he’s totally off base on this one. I’ve already written a long post on this, so I won’t rehash. I’ll just say that 90% of everything I do related to this blog happens after 7 p.m. Many authors you might have heard of feel the same way.  The whole “you have to be a morning person to be productive” argument is just pure hogwash. Hogwash, I tell you.

4) Moist is the most disgusting word in the English language.

Trick!

Moist is a terrible word. I’ll give you that. But, for my money, the worst word in the English language is secretion. Secrete. Secreted. Secretion. It’s just a nasty word in all forms. You can see all my least favorite words in these posts.

5) Hardback books are the best books.

Treat!

Absolutely on this one. I love a good hardback on the bookshelf, and I don’t even mind carrying one around. Now, I’m not going to pay $100 extra for some first edition hardback, but I’m willing to pay a little more for the hardcover. Heck, I carried around the hardcover of Infinite Jest for nearly two months, so you know I’m serious about this one!

6) Proselytizing has no place in literature.

Treat!

I don’t care if you’re a Christian (I am) or a Communist (I’m not). I just have very little patience for novels that have the feel of a sermon more than a piece of art. We’re talking fiction here. Nonfiction is a different story. I understand that every author will have a unique worldview, but please don’t beat me over the head with it. Subtlety is always appreciated.

7) The Great Gatsby is overrated.

Trick!

Your mom is overrated. (Yes, I know I said the same thing last year, but I just wanted re-emphasize the gloriousness of Gatsby and the overrated nature of your mother.)

8) The ending to The Grapes of Wrath was creepy.

Treat!

I’ve got hammered for this post over the years, and that’s fine. But I stand by my opinion–which is just that, an opinion. I get the symbolism and blah blah blah, but a starving, grown man breastfeeding on a woman to close out a novel is a creepy ending. There are happy endings, sad endings, abrupt endings, weird endings, and many other types of endings to novels. The Grapes of Wrath features a creepy ending. That’s it.

9) College football is better than literature.

?

My initial reaction to this is TRICK! but the fact that my reading slows down from September to December might indicate that this one’s a TREAT. Literature is frickin’ great. College football is, at the very least, its equal in frickin’ greatness. This is all a matter of opinion, of course.

10) Candy corn is the best. 

Yes, I know this has nothing to do with literature. But it’s Halloween, so humor me. Candy corn is terrible. Absolutely terrible. I’d rather drown to death in a vat of melted Skittles than eat one bag of candy corn. Terrible.

That’s all for this time around, friends. Feel free to disagree with me on one, two, three, or all of these points. But do share why!

Have a safe Halloween and a great weekend!

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