Humor Magazine

Tell Me How You Really Feel

By Dmroughton
At my college, the end of year institutional climate survey indicated that many people felt there was a divide between faculty and staff and that, in general, communication between various college areas was lacking.
I beg to differ.
Now I am considered by most to be a pretty smart guy. I have written 25 page papers on topics such as the marginalization of the subaltern in post-colonial societies as represented in the literature of Alice Walker or the psychological journey from a state of divisiveness to a state of unity of mind and body by characters in the works of D.H. Lawrence.
As a part of my college's re-accreditation team, I have attended conferences in Texas, Georgia, North Carolina, and Florida where I investigated best assessment practices, general education competencies, student learning outcomes, etc. I use this knowledge to help our college grow and meet the ever changing needs of higher education.
I've even got two fancy degrees (which reside at home in a box in a closet somewhere) from major universities.
Tell Me How You Really FeelBut as Momma Gump always says, "Stupid is as stupid does." So despite my alleged intelligence, when staff members at my college tell me what a complete dumb ass I am (just in nicer words than that) for not being able to correctly fill out a certified mail return receipt, I can only conclude that we do not suffer from a lack of communication and that, at least in my case, people feel quite comfortable letting faculty know when they are morons.
Mr. Roughton, please go sit in the corner.

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