I felt the tears running freely as I read Nickie’s survival post, about her amazing daughter and then I agreed to join in this linky, survival? What have I survived?
I survived my parents separation at the age of twelve, they had led separate lives for years, she feared him some what, he mentally abused her, he was an alcoholic a he she a workaholic. I spent more time with my grandparents or childminders than my own parents. As a child I would sit holding my younger brother on the top of the stairs, listening to him hurl abuse at my mother, smash his fists into doors.
I survived an overdose at the age of thirteen, it put me in hospital for weeks and introduced me to psychiatrists, but I lived to tell the tale, I still had to return to school to face the bullies and living with my father and step mother remained troublesome. My mother had decided I was too rebellious for her to cope with. She no longer wanted me, neither did my new step mother only five years older than me.
I survived the teenage years of cutting my wrists, smoking god knows what and drinking cheap cider in parks. Dating the local drug dealer and skipping as much school as possible, still leaving with good grades.
I survived the time at seventeen when my dad and step mom packed up the house and moved away. Leaving me home alone with nothing but a single mattress. I moved in with the man ten years older than me who I had been dating for a few weeks.
I survived by the skin of my teeth from the ages of seventeen to twenty eight. An eleven year domestic violence relationship scared me life. Three children during these years introduced me to postnatal depression three times, while two nervous breakdowns striped me of all I was. These eleven years were and will always haunt me, I am not sure I survived them, some nights I still live them in my dreams.
I survived severe postnatal depression which made me want to harm my baby almost four years ago.
I survived the online affairs the man I had finally learned to trust had during the pregnancy of our son almost three years ago.
I survived prenatal depression that saw me witness psychosis, I could see, hear and smell things that were all in my mind. Convinced I was a bad mother I believed my unborn baby would die. During this pregnancy I survived finally asking for help. I was diagnosed with Bipolar.
I survived the court case which I can not discuss as is still ongoing with my ex husband, but I am coping well.
I survived the eating disorder where I self harm by starving myself until I am on the brink of exhaustion, I am getting support for this. Also my sleep disorder is seeing improvement.
I survived the last two years of being The Real Supermum and dealing with hundreds of hormonal women ( love you guys really), but the hate mail, the hate Facebook pages made against me, having my children’s photo’s stolen and placed on such a page is hurtful. The vile and degrading messages I receive are enough to make you hair stand on end, I guess they don’t know I am a survivor and been though so much crap in my life a few words are not going to knock me down.
When I look back on my life, I survived so much. I still have days where I feel sorry for myself, I ask why me? I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason. I guess I choose the short straw when my mold was made.
Take a look at all the other inspirational posts on the linky.
Tell me something you survived …
