For those that know me well, I'm one of those people who likes a plan, I like to know timings of things and I like to have a routine. But just recently i've been feeling a lot more relaxed and have been wanting to try new things. For as long as I can remember, i've suffered with anxiety but up until a few months ago, I don't quite know what happened, but I feel different, i'm suddenly more relaxed. I can't explain how or what but I suddenly had this epiphany. I've been stuck in the same cycle of things for a good few years and this year I have really begun to explore and get back out into the big wide world again. It's a work in progress, I can't just cart myself and Abbie off to the other side of the world just yet, but all the little steps i'm doing are really doing wonders for my confidence. Realising that I CAN do what I really want, it's an amazing feeling.
I know what i'm about to say might not be a big deal for some people, it might be your daily life, but for me, who's always been held back by anxiety, it's such a big step. So this past weekend Abbie & I jumped on a train to visit my Sister for her Birthday. A year ago I would
be panicking about how I was going to get there, how would Abbie be, the journey, when would I stop, would she sleep ok somewhere else, would she be clingy etc etc, constant anxiety! Abbie isn't the greatest traveller in a car because she gets the worst car sickness, so taking the train was the next best option. I was a little apprehensive, I didn't want her to be poorly and then have to worry about the journey home too..
Aside from a new nerves, I was surprisingly calm, an oddity for me to say the least. I don't want to go on about how proud I am of myself, (although if anyone has any gold stars to hand, I won't turn that down....), I have to put all my calmness down to the absolute perfection Abbie was the ENTIRE time, firstly, it was her first time on a train, ever, she took it in her stride, sat in her seat quietly and watched out the window, we even had a half hour wait for the second train as well, and she was amazing with that, didn't bat an eyelid on that train either and coming home was even better, I can't even find the words to describe just how proud of her I am, I'm so so lucky to have such a wonderful little cherub!
We had such a lovely time away, Abbie thoroughly enjoyed herself, she literally didn't stop all day, playing with the other kids, enjoying the amazing toy room her Auntie has and also trying to steal the neighbours cat..sorry Alfie. I took a few hundred photos whilst I was there too, so nice to take my camera out again, it's been far too long, so i'm gonna leave you with some of those now, hope you all have a good weekend :)
