Okay, now that you've been wooed into the fold of reading my blogs its time we've moved into the gut punch truths of my thoughts about marriage, sex, love, life, my career, family, friends, and whatever else could possibly fit into my life.So my husband and I just got done robbing the rooster, shaking the tree, riding the saddle, or whatever else you would call a good fuck (hey, said I'd be truthful right?) and I'm pretty pissed. Why, you wonder? Well because for the past two days I've been dropping not so subtle hints that I'm feeling pretty horny but he's been sick so I managed to keep from jumping his bones while he recouped. Flash forward 72hrs later and he's feeling much better and I'm about to explode. I start the morning with a 2mile power walk around the neighborhood to get the blood pumping and possibly to magically lose 10lbs by the time I get back. The walk is wonderful and I actually got two honks and a cat call from guys driving by so I'm feeling like the next Cindy Crawford. I shower him with kisses and soft gropes in order to wake him up and he smiles and kisses back, even added a little smack on the bottom for good measure. Now I'm thinking, "Already, momma getting some tonight!", and we proceed to go about the rest of our day. Well it just so happens that we're both off from work today and we have the house all to ourselves with no expected guest dropping by. I continue the charades by cooking breakfast nearly naked. I'm standing over a hot stuff wearing a white tiny tank, braless, gray cheeky style undies, and pancake batter splattered in the most ridiculous areas. I'm talking pancake batter on the neck, lips, finger tips, and thigh. Tried to cover the sensual body basis you know...
Any who, he doesn't take the bait. Four 5hrs+ he seriously set on the couch playing Assassin's Creed X-Box video game and even though I "check up" on him every 30mins to see if he's okay, does he need anything, or wants anything he doesn't take charge, you know, throw the game to through the window and scoop me into his arms like a Casablanca film. MEN! Well we're pushing way close to afternoon time and nothing’s happening so I give up but just then, Jackson appears at the doorway and lies on the bed next to me. I'm thinking, "Finally!", and move in to kiss him. We do this passionately for about five minutes then he gets up and fixes a sandwich! I get so desperate that I go into the bathroom, slap on my best smelling girly lotion, perfume, a touch of makeup, and drop the drawers. Yes all, the goods were out and ready to go. I walk into the bedroom and sit on the bed, back in his direction to notice the splendor and he continues to eat! HELLO HERE! ANYBODY HOME?
So 10mins into his food fest I finally ask if we're going to have sex again and he says yes and continues to munch down. So I sarcastically say, "Sure it'll be great once you’re done with your sandwich," and he CONTINUES to eat. Once the foods no longer my competition he proceeds to lay down for a nap. Well I'm not having it so I get the laptop, go to work finding the best porn (free of course) video online, and tell him, "Let's have sex while we watch this..." (Imagine me holding the laptop in the air and showcasing the video like a Price Is Right girl. I chose a 3way video with two chicks and a dude, the ultimate guy fantasy clip you know. Well surprise surprise, he's ready to go now. So we initiate (thought I'd give you a blow by blow didn't you?) and we're grooving then all of it goes to hell when he climaxes five minutes into it! Now if you’re a woman and you haven't had a chance to get yours yet then you know how frustrating that is! I'm pissed but I do the whole "baby it was mind-blowing" routine for five minutes before getting up and running some bath water to soak in.
What's the point, well ladies and gents, the moral of this story is to be more expressive with what you want because 5mins later it could be too late. My husband says he wants me to take charge more, what man doesn't say that, and when I actually do that Oscar Mayor steals my thunder! I could have been more point blank with my sexual advances towards him but that’s just not my style so moral for the men: if your wife is normally prudish about letting you see her naked in the light, when she's cooking in the raw take notice because I doubt she's doing it for her health. The chick in the porn that you see grab the man's crouch and shoves her tongue down his throat doesn't exist 9 out of 10 so notice the signs from your little demure housewife please!
Addie
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