This weeks Friday date night attirewas all about being cozy.After years of no true sick days I succumbed this week to an ugly fluso Friday was my first day out in almost a week.
A week of being sickhas of course left my house in disarray,I have quickly caught up on business right off.But what I wasn't expecting ishow it has left me so emotionally vulnerable.
outfit details : hat-lack of color, wrap-cashmere lover, sweater-H&M, tunic-Free People, jeans-NYDJ, booties-Zara, bag-TargetNot practicing my normal self care in the form ofhiking in nature and working out.
Morning rituals of coffee and candlelightpondering all I have to be grateful in my life.
Making a point daily of making someone's day brighterand passing out love and compliments like confetti.
Without my intentional focus on the goodI have been sucked back into feeling the loss once again of children moving on.Feeling like I am living one long goodbye.Waiting for the heartache of the final child moving on.
With only our youngest 18 year old at home these daysa true empty nest is on the forefront.And as he is here less and lessthe deafening silence in the house seems to be on the increasein a manner so engulfingthat I feel maybe a move may be necessarybut since I love my gardens somost likely a total house remodel after the wedding.
Afresh start in a family home.A fresh start that looks to the futurerather than holding on to the shadows of the past.I can't believe how many pictures on wallsI have of when they were younglike razor sharp reminders of a time that will never come again .
So as soon as I finish this post todayI will begin once again getting my house in order.
I will remind myself
daily courage is needed
in order to celebrate the time I do have with my son
while he is at home.
Courage to overcome the fear of the pain involved
with his inevitable moving on.
I will remind myself I do not want to taint this time left
with my fear of the heartache to come.
But to remind myself I have survived the two before.
And
I know even though I have been through this twice before
this one will still be as hard
if not more.
But I will remind myself
I am a strong women
who can love fiercely
and
bear the consequences of doing so.
I will put my pieces back together
so I can celebrate the here and now
not tainting it with the fear of the pain of tomorrow.
I will take time to make a conscious effort to refocus my intenton my gratitudes.
My healthTime in which I have the luxury to create.Time once again with my husband.Time to enjoy my adult childrenandmarvel int the wonderful people they have become.Time and opportunity to travel.Time once again with friendsboth old and new.
Time to design a new home in an old house.
Time to acknowledge long goodbyes ...
with beautiful new hellos.
As always my friends
I wish you love and joy as you style your life
